Can you Believe it?

This will be my last post of 2008. And boy am I ready for 2009. In some ways I think 2008 was my worst year yet! So I am ready to start new, be someone else, and refocus on my goals of being the truly stellar girl I am! However, I am starting off on a horrible foot. I have gained 5 pounds this month. I am so disorganized. I hate the gym. I want to eat crappy food all the time. I am in love with Matzalan's $2 margaritas. I am turning 29. Whoa... I need a minute.

After staying up way to late, enjoying (read: drinking) being 25 with some of my co-worker's friends, I rolled out of bed around 10:30 this morning. I had tons of things I wanted to get done today, and was a little upset that I had slept so late. However, I haven't been able to sleep-in in a long time, so I really think I deserved this! I had to give Erin a ride to her car (at the shop) so that got me out of the house. It was perfect. I easily could have stayed in my warm bed and watched tv for at least another hour. But this way, I picked her up, got to the gym, the grocery store, and made it home all by 1:30. Now I have the whole afternoon to clean up this messy house, and make yummy snacks for Jen's New-Years-Rockin'-Eve Party!

I really wanted to get a good cardio-equipment workout in today. I have been so bored lately by the treadmills and other cardio machines that I haven't been able to stay at the gym the entire hour. I also have a really hard time working up a sweat unless I am running (or taking kickboxing) so I often feel that walking on the treadmill or using the elliptical machines isn't hard enough. Or I just can't push myself to the level I need to be working at. So even though I was feeling dehydrated from an evening of drinking, I made myself walk as fast as possible, on the steepest incline I could handle. Then I switched over to the elliptical where I went as fast as I could (running) and burned a bunch more calories. Now, if I could just stop eating the Peanut Butter cups, things would start looking up!

Thanks for being there with me through 2008. I wouldn't have made it without you guys!

Control

After re-reading my rambling post from yesterday and thinking about the holidays and the state of my house and even the state of my job-life. Then on top of all that, I've noted how I can't seem to stop eating cookies and peanut butter cups and feel like working out less and less. I am realizing more and more that I just don't have any control of my life. It all comes down to self-control. Do I have the ability to say: No, I do not need another cookie; No I cannot join you for dinner because I haven't done laundry in two weeks; Mom I will be late for Christmas because I need to workout; Dad I will only be able to visit for a day and a half because I have a life to live. Well the answer is, I don't. But I need to acquire this control. I need to learn to make time for me. How does one learn to gain self control? Since I have absolutely no idea, I just have to hope that once the holidays are over, it will all work itself out. Here are my plans for when I get back into town, have a free day, and attempt to gain any control of my life:

1. Rid the house of left over Christmas candies/cookies/treats.
2. Fold all the laundry/clothes laying around the house.
3. Make time to workout every day.
4. Go to the grocery store and get some healthy foods for the first time in months.
5. Put away all the Christmas gifts/receipts.
6. Return all the things that didn't quite work out.
7. Turn up the heat, so my house isn't so cold, and makes me want to just lay under a blanket.

Less Time Now

It's hard to believe that I have less time now that Christmas is over. The weeks leading up to Christmas were busy and filled with parties and programs and shopping, but now I am just crazy-busy and can't see the end. I have had to work the last 6 out of 7 days. Of course having Christmas off did me absolutely no good because I was with my family from the minute I woke up and got ready until midnight. I had to work the day after Christmas, and my aunt and uncle wanted to meet me for breakfast before I went to the library. So after going to bed at 1:00, I was up again at 7:00. I spent the whole day working, then we met Amy and her family for dinner and game playing. Again I was up until midnight... and again today I am back at the library. I have to celebrate Christmas with Jennifer sometime (maybe this evening). But my goal tonight is to get to the gym after work; get a really good workout in; get home and eat some dinner and do laundry and put my Christmas gifts away. Then tomorrow I will find myself at work again until 8:00pm. I am hoping to see Amy one more time before she heads back to Atlanta. So I am sure I will be busy tomorrow evening. Monday morning I have to go to Columbus to visit my dad for Christmas. I will spend two days there, before heading back Tuesday night to meet some girls from work for drinks. FINALLY, I have Wednesday off from work with nothing to do. Well, nothing if you consider that it is New Year's Eve and I have a party to get ready for. I want to make some yummy appetizers. I will want to get to the gym. And then I am driving up to Omaha to ring in 2009. I haven't even celebrated Christmas with Brandy and Elijah yet. When will I have time for me?

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a happy and healthy holiday today. Most of you understand that I mostly hate Christmas and all things it has come to represent: consumerism, obligations, resentment, expectations. Surprisingly, for someone who doesn't go to church, religion is the only aspect of Christmas that I really enjoy. It is what the holiday is all about after all. It's not about family and gifts and stress. It's just about Jesus and his birthday -- and we all know how much I love birthdays! So I try to stay as stress-free around the holidays as possible. I try to have my presents bought early (so I don't have to spend time with those crowds in the stores), I try to advocate for my family to give as few/little gifts as possible (I haven't got them talked into no gifts yet). And I try to separate my family celebrations as much as possible. I think that I did a great job of not letting stress get to me! So Christmas was a success I guess!

I got in a pretty good workout on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately there were no classes at Goodyear; they closed at 3:00. So after I got off work at 4:00 I headed over to Gold's (there are some good reasons to have two gyms) and worked out for 50 minutes. I find gym cardio to be so insanely boring that I just couldn't make myself stay for ten more minutes. Then I celebrated with my mom by eating some creamy soup. There was no working out on Christmas, because they gym had some absurd hours (10-4) in which I was busy during all of them. On top of no calories burned, I ate a huge amount of them. I skipped the pie, but that's easy for me. I made up for it with stuffed mushrooms, manacotti, fudge, Oreo balls, sugar cookies, etc... But that's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown!

Vote Early, Vote Often

I have been trying to come up with a list of Things to do before I'm Thirty! I have been searching the Internet and asking my friends and co-workers. Everyone has different opinions on what kinds of things should be on this list. A lot of bloggers list things like: Sky-Dive or Hike Mount Everest; real adventurous stuff. Well we all know that I am not adventurous, nor do I have any hopes of being adventurous. So bungee jumping and hang-gliding are not on my list. Other people online have really arbitrary things like: meet my soul mate and get healthy. Well, sure those are great goals, but not really concrete things you can put you mind to and then measure the outcome. I need a concrete list. I am pretty sure it will include something about a musical instrument (take lessons); something about a foreign language (re-learn french?); something about cooking (take a class? try a different recipe each week?); and for sure something about my fitness goals. I am thinking that since lose weight is an on-going goal of mine, I want to be more centered on fitness. Since I have already run a 5k, and I have little or no dreams of running a half-marathon, I am thinking that my next goal should be a 10k. Am I capable of running a 10k? Vote early and vote often!

Temptation

There is something I know about myself: I give in to temptation easily. I have no will power. I don't claim to have any, and I don't attempt to have any. For this reason, I do not purchase bad foods to have in my house. I don't buy chips, I don't leave chocolate lying around. But I spent all last week at my mom's house. My mom has no will power either, but she has no qualms about having crap-food in every cupboard. Besides boxes and tins of Christmas cookies and candies, I also ate: pizza rolls, Cheetos, tortilla chips, cheese, and left over prime rib. I had more holiday goodies at Jen's house on Friday, and more again at my mom's house on Sunday. Saturday night I enjoyed Candy Cane Pie (a VI must ever December) and a fattening Poppy Seed Muffin on Saturday morning. So it shouldn't have come as a shock when my scale was three pounds heavier today. I hate it so much. I a not trying to lose weight this time of year. But the least I could do is maintain what I have. And when ultimately I want the scale to go down, going up is the WRONG DIRECTION!

You'd think that this fact would have inspired me to turn around and eat as health-full-ly as possible this week. And it did. I started out on a great foot: picked a healthy granola bar for breakfast, packed a nutritious lunch, brought my gym clothes for my two hours of gym time this evening. But as soon as I walked in the door at work, these cinnamon rolls were staring at me. After thirty minutes of still wanting one, I gave in. I microwaved it so it would be ooey-gooey and warm. Unfortunately I killed it. The frosting melted everywhere and it was a crusty as a crouton. Even though I wanted to get another, I threw it away and went on with my morning. Then I ate a whole bunch of chocolate that someone brought in. What is it with people and the holidays and food and sharing with others. We don't all want to be as fat as you Santa!

Omaha Classes

I had a lot of fun in Omaha this weekend. We ate a great (free) meal at the Omaha Lazlo's. We sampled several holiday cookies that Jen had made (hello Oreo Ball)! We did a little shopping and mainly, we took two classes at her gym. This marks three Pump classes for me this week, and three kickboxing classes. It was great to actually take Combat again. The Omaha class just so happened to be the same set of songs that Katie used on Monday, so it was easy for me to realized that even though the class was only 15 minutes longer than the one we take in Lincoln, it's almost exactly the same. Here are the only differences: we don't spend the last song doing Tai Chi. If we're lucky we spend a little time doing sit-ups or push-ups, but sometimes we just do cardio through the end. We also skip the Mui Thai song, which is all blocking and breathing. There are also several places in songs when we do deep breathing in Combat; in kickboxing we just do more fast running or jump-ropping or mountain climbing. The final difference is that there is a break between each song in Combat. Since we only have 45 minutes we just do song after song after song and the only break we get is the one you take yourself, or if the instructor needs to change cds. So I don't feel bad for counting our Lincoln kickboxing class as a whole hour. If I wanted I could do deep breathing in the hallway before hand!

I am starting to feel sore today though. Almost like someone kicked me in the ribs. Since Combat has no physical contact, I can only guess that Jennifer must have kicked me in my sleep (we were sharing a double bed in Jen's guest room). I'm a little worried that as the day goes on I am going to feel even more sore. And I don't even want to think about tomorrow. I am going to make myself get to the gym today for some nice hill walking. Apparently Jen might want us to wear short dresses to her wedding, and that is going to mean a complete overhall of my calves as well as my upper-body. Time to start worrying more about that I guess!

How Far Would You Go?

How far would you go to locate a Gold's Gym and take their free classes? I've been known to go all the way to California. So I definitely would travel 50 miles to Omaha. That is precisely what I am doing this weekend. Tonight I am heading up to Omaha to see my friend Jen. We'll have a nice little Christmas celebration: dinner out, maybe wine, lots of laughing. Then, I plan on spending the night, getting up bright and early, and going to two classes at her Gold's Gym (Combat and Pump). I am super-excited. I haven't take three kickboxing classes in a week -- ever. I haven't taken three weight lifting classes in months. And I am excited to take them with Jen; she never gets to have gym-friends. Plus, since she's my workout motivation, it would be good to see her in action. Maybe we'll even get to go out for bagels afterward. It's like a gym field trip, or a Christmas Miracle... and I can't wait!

More Trumps Sore

I began getting sore on Tuesday night. It's because I raised my squat weight. It was the kind of sore where you don't want to go up and down stairs. Luckily, my mom lives on one level (I'm dog-sitting all this week). That made it a lot easier than going up and down than if I were at my own house. Wednesday it just got worse and worse. The kind where I don't like to sit down at work, and resent every customer that needs me to show them where something is located. I was thinking that I would skip the gym on Wednesday evening. How was I supposed to do more kicking and squatting with that kind of pain? That, and the fact that in order to go Wednesday evening, I would have to spend my lunch break racing home to my mom's house, letting out the dog, and then racing back to work, all on icy streets. But I remembered that I would feel a lot less sore if I made myself get to the gym. So I did. And I do feel better. Today my back is a lot sore-er than my legs (that's just because Marika does such an excellent job of working every upper-body muscle possible). Four hours down! Marika even said that she would be willing to teach classes next Wednesday evening (Christmas Eve) if people promised to come. I said I would! So did five other people. We'll just have to see if they let her. When I told my mom I would be at the gym on Christmas Eve until 7:30, she of course was appalled. But she'll be in Church until 7:30 anyway, so I might as well be with my new family. I see those girls twice a week; that's more than I ever see my real family and most of my friends!

Three Weeks Away

One of the drawbacks (perks?) of working for the public library is the fact that you always live three weeks ahead of time. At all times I know exactly what three weeks from today is. I spend my entire day letting people know that their items are due back in three weeks. And so often we feel like we live three weeks ahead. Long story short: my birthday is three weeks away. All day long I let people know that their books were due back on January 6th. It was quite hard for me not to finish up that sentence with your books are due the 6th of January... that's my birthday. But then I remember that I don't want my customers to know so much about me. Although if someone brought me cookies, I wouldn't complain!

To get to the point: I am three weeks away from turning 29. The big 2-9. The last year of my twenties. What do I want to get done in the next three weeks? Where do I want to be when I start the last year of my youth? What are my goals? And thinking even bigger: I want to make 29 a great year. So I want to come up with a list of goals to accomplish in my 29th year of life. What things do I want to have done by the time I am 30. Thirty years old. I think I need a minute...

Help me make a list!

Where Have I Been?

I was able to do both the kickboxing and the bodypower class tonight and I feel great about it. Kickboxing wasn't nearly as grueling as last time, I was better nourished, the room wasn't spinning and I was able to power-through. There's something about having water breaks that let you catch your breath and keep going, whereas, 40 minutes with no break is down-right impossible. I even increased my squat weight slightly. I had been going down on my squats recently, because I am usually SO exhausted from kickboxing that I can't make myself load up the weight. But tonight I pushed myself... I haven't lifted weights in two weeks. I wonder if I will feel that tomorrow.

Then I had a whole bunch of errands to run. I needed to finish up my Christmas shopping. Amid all the running around, I allowed myself to eat McDonald's for dinner. What is it they say about eating high calorie foods right after you burn a whole bunch? Something about your metabolism being at its highest and therefore kicking those calorie's ass's? Oh well, it was still a bunch of calories in; but when was the last time I savored a yummy french fry?

This week is shaping up to be a great workout week. Two classes this evening, two classes on Wednesday evening. Then I plan to be in Omaha Saturday morning, so hopefully we can fit in two more classes then. When was the last time I took three weight lifting classes in one week? Early August? Late July? It seems so very long ago!

A Workout Blog?

If this is a workout blog, why don't I work out anymore? I have only managed to log one hour of gym time this week. I was planning on going to Spinning class in the morning, but I have since decided that my body needs to sleep in. I work all afternoon tomorrow, so working out won't be possible then either. I am having a Party for my Teen Advisory Board. This will include eating pizza and snacks. In the evening I have my work Christmas party. So no working out all day Saturday. I must make myself go to the gym on Sunday morning. I am spending the afternoon making cookies with my mom. All the cookie snacking and the holiday parties are going to make this a high-calorie weekend. The least I could do is burn off one calorie with exercise!

Two Teeth = Four Pounds

Three days of little eating really does the trick. I weighed in four pounds lighter today than I did Monday morning before my dentist appointment. I wish that I knew that this weight loss was here to stay. Unfortunately it's probably all water-loss and will creep back up once I have a whole day of eating. The fact that I couldn't get through a whole kickboxing class and that I am feeling light headed and dizzy all around are obviously signs that I need to eat more (and more nutritious) things. Jennifer did feed me some soft potatoes and roast meat last night, so I am on my way back to healthy.

I have a long day of work today (eleven hours) and then I need to spend time this evening getting ready for a job interview I have tomorrow. It's for a great job that I am hardly qualified for, let alone have any chance of getting. But I really should take the interview more seriously. I also have to get up early tomorrow morning for a staff breakfast, which I will need to make/buy something for tonight. On top of all of that, I got very little sleep last night (five hours) which I need to make up for tonight. So I'll get off work at 8:00, stop by the grocery store and be home by 8:45, review some interview questions for an hour, and try to be in bed by 10:00. Sounds like a plan!

Mistake

I suppose it was a mistake to go back to the gym and attempt to take two hours worth of classes having only eaten half of a burrito all day long. By the end of the kickboxing warm up I was almost dying; my heart was beating so fast I thought that it was going to jump out of my chest. About 30 minutes into the class I was so tired I had to stop in the middle of a song just to go get a drink. And around 35 minutes the room started spinning. So again I rested and got a drink and then did the next ten minutes at very low-impact, only punching, not jumping around. After class it was a little too easy to convince Jennifer that we should ditch BodyPower and call it a night. She hadn't been to class since the middle of November, and felt that she needed to ease herself into it as well. I really wish that I could have stayed to take the second class. But it's very difficult to do squats while your placing you head in between your knees.

Jillian Always Wins

Tonight was the semi-final of The Biggest Loser. Every week I watch, and every week I am motivated by something that one of the trainers say. Although I realize that the show is unrealistic (real people don't have seven hours a day to work out and therefore real people don't lose 17 pounds in a week and 80 pounds in 12 weeks) it is still uplifting and motivating. There has been some discussion in recent weeks on the "yelling" trainer versus the "loving" trainer. I completely agree with Jen who says: "I don't like being yelled at. Gym teachers did enough of that in high school, I'm over the yelling." In general I believe in positive motivation. I believe in a reward system, not a punishment system when raising children. I believe in inspiring my employees through my own actions, not by ridiculing them. And I believe in earning respect not demanding it. But believe this: Jillian always wins. The only season that Bob's team won, was the season that Jillian wasn't on the show. So even though we love to hate her. Even though she makes me feel so bad for those clients of hers. You have to recognize that what she does seems to work.

As far as my working out goes: nowhere. Today I was too weak to do any exercise. I haven't been able to eat any nutrients for two days, so I didn't have enough strength to make it down the stairs let alone to the gym. Tonight I think that I was able to eat a little better. Hopefully I will be back to normal tomorrow because I plan to make it back to my kickboxing/bodypower combo!

Fat Teeth

I now have two less teeth in my mouth. It was awful, just like I thought it would be, but I won't go into that here. I am sure the fact that I have a serious dental-phobia made the situation much worse than it would be for any other person that just doesn't like the dentist. For a brief moment today I started hoping that those two teeth might be really heavy. Like what if they each weighed a whole pound. That would make me two pounds lighter. Then it might have been worth it. Since, that is probably nowhere close to what teeth actually weigh, I will just have to hope the liquid diet does something positive for my health. So since both my driver (Jennifer) and my doctor said I can't work out today, I guess I won't. But truly, I feel perfect. I mean, sure I have gauze in my mouth, I can't eat, and there is a dull pain in my jaw area. But that doesn't mean I can't punch and kick. And I can drink perfectly well. I know, I know, there are several reasons that I am just supposed to take it easy, but I hate to waste a day off doing absolutely nothing. No worries, I already did dishes and laundry (don't tell anyone!)

Back to it

Thanks to Jennifer I got up early this morning and made it back to Gold's for some cardio. I hadn't been there since Thanksgiving morning. Isn't that crazy? What is wrong with me? This season/weather/darkness/holiday seems to be depressing me. I have little motivation to get out of bed. And I absolutely understand that working out will get me out of a funk, but it's hard to get to the gym when all you want to do is sleep. And some people think the point of weekends is sitting around and watching tv. But when I find myself sitting around doing nothing, I just get more depressed. Its a never ending battle. So even though I forced myself to get out of bed early this morning, and again later in the afternoon to get some Christmas shopping done, I still spent eight hours of the day laying in my bed.

One month from today is my 29th birthday. I feel good for twenty-nine; I am probably in the best shape of my life. I guess that's a plus. So I tried not to be upset when the 36-year-old manager of McDonald's (yes I let myself eat dinner at McDonald's) called me young lady. I mean, maybe I still look twenty-four. That can't be a bad thing.

I am not going to Columbus this weekend. So I should be able to get another hour of workout time in tomorrow. I am going out to dinner tomorrow evening as a last supper event. I have no idea when I will be able to eat real food again after my wisdom teeth extraction. I am trying to think of a really good/chewy/crunchy dinner to eat. Maybe chips and salsa? I am going to enjoy the juice stop drinks I will be able to drink on Monday. And the Jamocha shakes from Arbys. And I am most looking forward to the three days I have off from work. Oh yeah, and the laughing gas they'll be giving me. That sounds pretty great. I wish I could get some at home!

Not Since Monday

I haven't worked out since Monday. It's a vicious trap: I skip one day and then it is just so much easier to skip the next and the next and the next. And it's just so cold out I can't imagine leaving my warm bed/blanket/house/car. I am going to try to work hard this weekend but even that is up in the air. I may or may not be going to visit my grandma who just got out of the hospital. Next Monday morning (bright and early) I get my wisdom teeth pulled. I don't understand why I won't be able to workout. That doesn't require eating or drinking (much) and I will be taking heavy medication. But I have been warned about taking it easy and allowing myself time to heal. Please, I am a power-house, I don't spend time healing!

The more I don't work out the easier it is for me to eat like crap. This week I have allowed myself fries, a brownie, Chinese food, cookies and a hostess snack cake. I mean, what do I think is going to happen? The fat in the food will disappear with the warm temperatures? I think that I have gained 4 pounds since last week. And seeing as I won't be doing a ton of exercising in the next few days, I probably need to get a lid on my eating. I guess it's good news that I will have huge holes in my mouth next week and won't be able to chew anything.

Bad Worker-Outer-er

I have very little energy lately. All I want to do is sleep and eat. My body must be preparing for winter. Because of the Thanksgiving holiday we are very low staffed at work. I had been schedule to work until 6:00 today. My plan was to convince someone to go to dinner early, probably end up working several hours alone, and then take off an hour early so I could make it to the gym at 5:30. Then, don't you know it, someone called in sick! So now I'll have to work alone and stay until 6:00. To make matters even worse, I was so worried about leaving early with all the ice on the road, that I left my gym bag by the door. Since BodyPower starts at 6:20 I don't have time to run home and change and make it to the class. I could probably do it in thirty minutes, but not twenty. So I'm going to miss my classes tonight. Sure, I could just go to the gym instead. But that doesn't sound fun. So if I skip the gym today, mixed with the time I skipped last night, I have to make myself go tomorrow. But for now I need a nap... too bad I still have two hours of work.

New Gym Friends

As I mentioned yesterday, my friends Sara and Brandy joined me for Kickboxing last night. Brandy of course knew exactly what she was doing because she had taken BodyCombat at Golds. Sara on the other hand, had no idea what she was getting herself into. She even stayed for BodyPower. Imagine taking two classes the first time you've been in a gym in 10 years. (To her credit, she has been running around her neighborhood a little since this past summer). I told her what I tell all BodyPower newbies: Start with all smalls. The instructor might tell you to put more weight on, but there's nothing wrong with starting light. You'll thank me tomorrow. She seemed to enjoy it, and plans on coming back at least every Monday. Brandy also plans on coming at least once a week. Now I will have to work on getting more Wednesday converts, because Marika's class is 10 times better than Katie's. And as we have discovered: the teacher makes the class. (Unless you're deprived of classes, in which case, the class makes the class!)

After starting my week off with two good hours of working out, I am taking this evening off. Some of my work people are going out to Mazatlan for one of our employee's last days of work. I could try to get to the gym before we meet for Margaritas at 8:00. But I have a lot of errands to run. And sometimes I get tired of going places sweaty. Sure these people already know how cute and good smelling I am in real life. But, there's no reason to confuse them! Hello yummy drinks, goodbye gym time!

I Know, I Know

It has been a long time since my last post. Thanks for pointing that out! At least I know someone's reading what I have to say. So a little recap of my workouts last week:
Monday -- Kickboxing, BodyPower
Tuesday -- Hour of treadmill: attempted to run, stopped, walked hills
Wednesday -- Kickboxing, BodyPower
Thursday -- Early trip to the gym where I walked, and amt'ed for an hour.
Rest of the Weekend -- NOTHING

So here's a little recap of my eating last week:
Monday -- Perfect
Tuesday -- Perfect
Wednesday -- was so proud of myself for doing 2 hours of gym time when nobody else did, that I took myself out for Margaritas and the cheesiest nachos that I have ever had.
Thursday -- told myself I could eat anything I wanted (besides pie) because I had worked out. Didn't even miss the pie. Later in the evening I wanted chocolate, my mother didn't have any, so we made chocolate chip cookies. I think this was the first time I have made cookies (from scratch, not just cut and bake) in like 6 years. And the last time I was at Amy's house and she wouldn't let me eat the raw cookie dough (the best part). Something about salmonella or something. It was heaven. I like cookie dough better than anything else in the ENTIRE world!!!
Friday -- early morning shopping, but fine eating. Made turkey chili for the game, nobody noticed that the beef was missing. Enjoyed leftover pumpkin pie, without the crust!
Saturday -- more Christmas shopping, still craving chocolate, ate very-gooey-brownie instead of dinner (at Panera), then let myself have (unbuttered) popcorn at movie. A good trade off.
Sunday -- didn't eat much, but what I did eat was left-over junk food. Gotta get back on track. When was the last time I ate a vegetable? Besides potatoes? and green-bean casserole?

Tonight I am supposed to have two special friends at Kickboxing. Jennifer still can't go (her back/neck has been hurting her). But Brandy called to say that she would be joining me. And possibly my friend Sara. I love converting new people! I am mostly excited that I don't have to go alone again!

Sorry Katie

I decided last night that I just don't like Katie's kickboxing class. It's too hard and it's too aerobic-y. I have mentioned before how she does silly things like sirens, and surf-board steps, and step aerobics. Now I am getting pretty tired of it. She takes the word "kickboxing" loosely and is more concerned about the kicking than the boxing. I swear: we did 5 minutes of punching last night, MAX. Somebody needs to explain to her the point of the class. I miss the routines of Combat. Although Marika is still using the Combat music, she still takes liberties with the moves. Katie teaches a class a Sport Courts called TurboKick which she is confusing with this Goodyear kickboxing class. It's 40 minutes of continual music (no drink breaks) with these turbo boosts. A siren goes off every ten minutes or so, and during this two minute boost, we have intense activities such as jumping, running circles around the room, jumping lunges, sprints, etc... I just want to punch something; is that so much to ask? I can work my heart and lower body doing most aerobic activities in the gym (treadmill, elliptical, bike) but very little gets my heart beating while sculpting my arms. I suppose I will keep going. It's still burning tons of calories, and the fact that is so hard for me has to mean something for my cardio routine. I just don't like it. And as Jennifer said to me: If you don't even like it, you might as well be running!

Tonight I plan on getting to the gym during The Biggest Loser (I'm thinking the second half). Surprisingly (and this goes along with what Jen hates about her job) when I have a crazy busy day at work and hardly sit down, it's easier for me to get to the gym, than the days that I am bored and just sit around waiting for the customers. It's something about how my energy level is so high all day, or how energy breeds energy. It's probably some theory of physics. Either way, right before a holiday, customers go crazy. They fear library withdraw, so they get to the library in droves. Needless to say, I hardly say still today, and now I am looking forward to getting to the gym. Maybe it's more about stress relief than energy!

Cool Whip

I love Cool Whip Free. It has 15 calories per serving and I can sit and eat it like Ice Cream. Sure, I eat like 5 servings, but still that's only 75 calories. And this time of year it cost something like $1.00. I am going to take it to Thanksgiving dinner. You guys enjoy your pie, I will be enjoying the Cool Whip!

Working Out Well

Although I did very little today (I have checked out the first season of Ugly Betty and am now addicted to that) I did manage to make it to the gym for an hour and a half. I also ate very well, even though I met my mom for our traditional Sunday lunch. That hour and a half took me up to seven hours of workout time this week (two weeks in a row) which I am very proud of. Working out definitely puts me in a better mood, which is something I think we all need this time of year. The fact that it is getting colder makes me cranky. The fact that it is dark by the time I get off of work makes me tired. And exercise fixes all those things.

I am determined to have a good week, even with Thanksgiving looming near. I'm going to work out extra hard (I do have a four day weekend coming up) I am going to eat very healthfully all week, just so I can allow myself to indulge on Thursday. I will let myself eat potatoes and rolls, but I am not giving into pie. I don't even like pie. Why waste my calories. Give me a left-over-turkey-sandwich instead! My goal is to still lose a pound this week even with Thanksgiving smacking itself right in the middle of my week!

You Spin me Right Round Baby

This morning we attempted spinning class again. Going into today's workout I was determined to get a good (read: sweaty) workout in. So I promised myself that I would tighten the resistance until it was difficult. And it worked! I was sweating. I wasn't shirt-completely-soaked sweaty, but my forehead was damp. Besides, I don't really do shirt sweat anyway. I was breathing heavily several times during the session. And when it was all over and I got off the bike my legs were a tad shaky. We'll see if I am sore at all tomorrow. FYI: I went with another 15 punch card rather than actually join the Goodyear gym. I'll think about it again when the punches have run out.

I had eaten healthy all week and then yesterday and today, I feel like I ruined it all. I hate how a whole week can be ruined by one poor decision. I guess it's better than two bad decision and no good ones!

It Must be the Shoes

I finally allowed myself to get new gym shoes. I got them on a great sale (buy one get one half, plus free shipping, plus 20% off coupon) which makes me like them even more. At first I wasn't sure if they were good enough. I have had this shoe-lust for so long that I was having trouble settling on just one pair. But I really like grey and black shoes, and they have to be Nikes and those restrictions are hard to come by. So I wore them around the house (and work) for a week or so before I decided. But last night I took them for a trial run. And everything was so much easier. I could jump higher, kick harder, run faster, and lunge deeper than ever before. It must be the shoes! I mean it, it was a great workout. There was even a time when Marika pointed to me and said I was doing something right (not to brag or anything).

I've got four hours done for the week, plus about 30 minutes of dog-walking which I did Tuesday evening while I was dog-sitting. It's gotten too cold to be out running with the dog. My lungs don't do cold-weather running. And alas, the dog cannot go to the gym with me.

Last night I used up the last of my 15 punches at Goodyear. Now I have come to a point where I have to decide if I will join for good (maybe just six-months) or buy another punch card. I suppose I might as well use Gold's for all my cardio needs at least until February when my membership is over there. I really do like Goodyear and the classes are great. I'm going to try a Zumba class in the next few weeks with Erin (and Lisa?) and I think we agreed to do a Yoga class. On top of that I am pretty sure that we're scheduled for an 8:15 Spinning class on Saturday morning. While all those classes are well and good, they generally cost me $2-$4 per session. So if I am going to be taking 5-7 classes a week, maybe I should just join. Decisions, decisions!

What I Learned from Jillian

As many of you know I am a big fan of the reality show The Biggest Loser. Often I make myself get to the gym to watch it because I can't get channel six at home. However, it's a two hour program and I can't spend that much time walking on a treadmill. But now that I have my own digital-tv-converter-box I have been able to tune in each week from the comfort of my couch. What I love about it is that it's motivating. I love the trainers and often wish I had someone who inspired and pushed me like they do. Both trainers, Bob and Jillian, have their own method of getting results. For example, Bob expects greatness my loving and believing in you for who you are, and in return people hate to let Bob down. People just love to hate Jillian. She is a bitch, often bringing people to tears, but she gets results with the tough love she uses. People are usually scared to let Jillian down. And whereas I love Bob (although I believe that he's gay) and wish he would be my friend, I see that what Jillian does works too. This is what she taught me last night: She was trying to get Michelle to run faster and longer than she had ever run before. And as usual Michelle was crying about how she couldn't go on any more. Now don't you think for one minute that I don't understand the need to give up when you're running. And in the middle of yelling things at her, Jillian screamed "You can tell me you choose not to, but you cannot tell me you can't."

Seven Hours

I worked from 11-8 today, and although it was pretty slow, that takes just as much out of me as a busy work day. Erin stopped in the library around 6:00 and I told her my goal to get to the gym after work. It was my goal, but even I knew it might not happen. But then Erin agreed to meet me there. So I absolutely HAD to go. It was excellent. When 8:00 rolled around I wanted to do anything but go to the gym. Well, not anything, I wanted to go home and eat dinner and lay on my couch. But knowing I had to meet her got me there with no problem. We worked out 30 minutes on the AMT machine -- I am trying to get my calves as sore as that first time I used it. It sure makes me winded. Then we walked hills for another 30 minutes. It just flew by. Erin only has 14 more days until her membership at Gold's is over. We'd better take full advantage of that! The fact that I made it to the gym this evening means I achieved my seven hours of working out this week. I haven't done that since sometime this summer.... August? I am really proud of myself! And I am so thankful to Erin, who got me to the gym, and made me happy to stay!

Scale Woes

Scales are finicky things. And now that Jen has dug out her old scale, has been greatly disappointed by its readings and has now gone to buy a new one at Target, I feel it is time to rant about the dear old scale. What better way to explain my feelings than in a pros/cons list. I mean, if it worked for Ross and Rachel, it can work for me and my scale!

Cons:
- The scale is not an exact reading of calories in/calories out as the experts claim weight to be.
- The scale does not take into account those bulging quad muscles I have developed.
- The scale does not take my feelings into consideration on days that my water-weight might have increased.
- When I am doing everything right (working out, eating healthy) and the scale increases a few pounds, I am discouraged.

Pros:
-When I am doing everything right (working out, eating healthy) and the scale decreases a few pounds, I am very happy, and encouraged to keep doing it.

And that's enough to keep weighing myself every day!

Happy Birthday Brandy

Today is my friend Brandy's 29th birthday. And therefore her 29th birthday party. We are having a Champagne Extravaganza. Everyone is bringing a different bottle of champagne and that way we will be able to taste a whole bunch of different things. I am sure there is going to be lots of tasty things to eat.

For this reason alone, I made sure that I got to the gym this afternoon (I had the day off because I work the weekend). I still am not feeling well. My head is congested and my neck is tired from holding my head up. I haven't been sleeping very well lately, and therefore I am lacking energy. Still, I made it to the gym. It was easier because I knew that Erin was waiting for me. We did 30 minutes walking hills and 30 minutes on the AMT machine. It is quite a workout -- nice.

For Brandy's birthday, Jennifer and I bought her a 15-punch card to Goodyear fitness. So now she will be able to join us for classes. She will be excited about taking bodypower and maybe even kickboxing. But I bet I can talk her in to trying other things like Zumba and Cardio Blast. Yeah, more gym friends!

Hit Me with your Best Shot

I think that I have gotten pretty good at kickboxing, if I do say so myself! Most of the time I have really good form (sometimes better than the instructor). I am able to last the entire 45 minutes, although I am panting and sweating profusely. I have mastered the kicks, and the direction your knee and foot is supposed to go during each of them. I understand the muscle groups being affected with each punch. And the better you are at kickboxing the more efficient the workout. I now know what muscle group to squeeze, which angle to punch, what should be tired and what should have a lot left in it.

On top of all of that, I have begun to concentrate more on form than weights in body power class. Marika has always been a big proponent of lower weights/better form. She even goes as far as encouraging lifters to go light on muscles like triceps and biceps. And although I am reluctant to not increase my weights, I find I can get a better workout if I tighten my triceps every time I lift them. They are always sore. Even if they aren't fatigued at the end of the song. I really concentrate on squeezing my elbows together, as if there was a ball in between my arms. So I am happy with the lower weight but larger results. And remember, I am target-training my upper body for the next 43 weeks!

Thank a Vet for My Workout

Sometimes it's nice to be a city employee and get random days off like today. Obviously it is Veteran's Day, but it's not really a holiday I have off to celebrate. There are no family obligations, there are no festivals I must attend. So instead it was just a nice day that I got to sleep in and stay warm inside as the rainy weather went on around me. And although I am appreciative of those veterans who have given their time and lives to save ours, I am also thankful for the extra day off from work.

I had meant to start my running program today, but I was too sore to make myself run. I got to the gym telling myself I wouldn't have to run until Friday. Sometimes I dread running and sometimes I like the challenge it presents. I figure I shouldn't have to do it unless I am enjoying it. I'm not exactly sure why I am sore today. It could have been the one hundred roundhouse kicks we did last night. It could have been the extra squats we did in kickboxing right before we did all those squats in power class. It could have been the fact that I took last Wednesday off from the gym, so I hadn't been to class in a week. No to mention the fact that I hadn't worked out at all since last Monday. (Wow, I took a whole week off?) Or the fact that I am still getting back to good from the cold I developed this weekend. Either way, I was tired and weak and at least I made it to the gym. I used the elliptical machine for 30 minutes and then walked uphills for 30 minutes. It was hot in the gym. I could feel the heat blasting onto me from the vent. I wish the place I worked could be that warm. I am most excited by the fact that I can just sit at home and relax this evening, because I already have my workout done.

A Kick in the Pants

It was horribly dreary, rainy day, but I managed to drag myself out of the house and get some things done. I ran some errands, did some shopping and made it to the gym for two hours! I took both kickboxing and body power. I have mentioned before how I absolutly hate having Monday's off from work. I mean, I was going to work out two hours this evening anyway, the only thing extra I do on Mondays then is sit around and wait for class to start. But I shouldn't complain; remember when I didn't have classes? I would rather waste some time than not have anything to wait for.

Every so many months (10 weeks) I get a target gift card from my health insurance. I get it because every week I log my workouts onto their website. It's some motivational technique to get people working out. And although you can easily just lie about it, I don't. So it's a nice bonus when my $25 comes in the mail. I try to spend that money then on workout things. So today I bought myself a new pair of yoga/workout pants. I am in a constant battle with workout pants. They are either too short, too tight, too loose, too high-wasted, too thigh showing, or too expensive. But I might have found a great pair today. They were perfectly tight without a drawstring, slimming, and so long that I almost step on them! All that for $17.99. And my health insurance paid for them.

A Big N-O

I had high hopes of going to the gym today, but I never made it. I haven't felt well the last two days. Today I just needed to sleep in and take a nap and rest up. So my three big days of working out is starting out slim. But I have high hopes for the next few days. For now I am going to take some Ny-Quil and sleep for like 12 hours. Tomorrow I am going to try harder: workout my required amount and log the food I eat (which I haven't done for the last month). Now it's time for sleep.

Great Genes

Today was my sixth day in a row of working. And my fifth day in a row of NOT working out. Sometimes you just need a break. Finally I have three days off in a row, and I am going to use them to their full extent. I plan to workout everyday, including two hours on Monday, which will include those classes that I will go to even if I have to go by myself. Unfortunately I woke up with a sore throat this morning, so I am willing it to go away so that I can carry on with my great three days off.

Tonight I am going out for dinner and drinks with some friends. But I plan on getting up early tomorrow morning so that I can hit the gym. I have a big family lunch/brunch for my Grandma's 86th birthday. I love my Grandma. Not only was she an independent woman, who owned her own business and had her own life, before she met my grandfather, fell in love and had a family. Now she is a feisty old lady who hasn't worked out a day in her life and is famous for her pies. But she is 86 years old and in great shape and living a full life. She travels, she lives on her own, and she walks to the grocery store when it's not too cold. I am lucky to have her in my life, both as a role model and a great contributor to my gene pool. I hope to live well into my nineties, so I better take care of myself now. That's gonna start tomorrow.

The Number 44

Yesterday morning when I went to vote, I stood in line with Jennifer (another perk of being neighbors). When the voter registrar (remember when I was one of those in high school??!!) checked me in I was number 44. "Oh," I said "that's not a very lucky number!" You know, if I was number 6 (my favor-ist number) I would have been really happy. Or 106 or 16 or 1680 or 160, or even 207 (another very symbolic number to me). But I was only 44. I didn't think anything about it until Obama was elected president last night and the announcer said, Barack Obama will be the forty-fourth president of the United States of America. Forty-fourth??? That's me! I did it! I was 44th too!

I woke up this morning not feeling very well. I think I was dehydrated (I hardly drank any water yesterday and had a few celebratory drinks). I had also eaten several chips at my Barack the Vote party and the combination of salt and no water left me feeling ill. I still planned on going to the gym; I packed my bag and everything. But I haven't seen Jennifer all week and I feel like I don't do anything fun anymore; and I feel like my whole life revolves around the gym; and I am so sick and tired of going to the gym alone, even though that should be very natural for me. So I decided to skip the gym and go to dinner with Jennifer instead. You know, don't burn any calories, eat them instead! But later I have to go visit my mom for a while, so I will take the dog for a long walk, or maybe even a run. I don't have my IPod with me though, so that could get old fast!

Anyway, here's to a better world (from here on out), a better president (next year) and a better me (next week!).

Almost Like My Birthday

This post has absolutely nothing to do with working out, because I didn't workout today. I had intended on going after work so I could start my poll watching there. But instead I was invited to a Barack the Vote Party (I named it that; only I would be cool enough to have a party called that, but even if I did nobody would come, so I didn't.)

I woke up this morning with the sun. By the time my alarm clock went off at 7:00 I was wide awake. I jumped out of bed and got ready as fast as possible. It was as good as my birthday. Today I change the world! I even straighten my hair. Just for Barack. I met Jennifer at the polling place at 8:10. I had to figure out which line to stand in, which was a little much for me that early in the morning, but after that I was golden. The whole process took about 40 minutes. But it was well worth it.

I have mentioned my love of Barack before. And I hate to drone on about it. I mean, I'm not gonna change any one's vote with my blog. But I am going to help bring about change. I believe in Obama; I believe that he will make the United States a better place. I believe that he will get us out of this crisis: the war, the depression, the hatred. I think that I will see a bigger tax break if I vote for him and that children will get a better education. But what I love about him the most is his belief in the system; his ability to motivate people; and his belief in us as a nation. I believe that he can win this election. I mean, it is almost like my birthday, and it's all I am asking for!

Vandals at the Gym

There is a patron that has been coming to the library for some time now. In fact I have known him since he was in elementary school at Belmont, and I worked at the library there (nine years ago). We will call him Mickey R. (creative eh?) Now, he is twenty years old and a meth-head. Last year some time he was so high and causing so much trouble at the library that I was scared for my life. I actually thought to myself: today I am going to die. He will come back with a gun and shoot me. Generally I am not scared of our patrons, I just think they're annoying, or stupid or crazy, or annoying. He was banned for six months and eventually ended up in jail for a while. Recently he has been back and causing more trouble. Just last month he was kicked out for cussing loudly across the library, and on his way he threatened Erin. That got him another six-month banning from the library. That didn't stop him from being in front of the library yesterday morning when I unlocked the doors. He didn't come in though. Instead he went to a car in the parking lot, got in, and did what I could only guess was a drug deal. Needless to say: this boy is trouble. Imagine my horror then when today, I read an article about my new gym: Goodyear fitness. Last evening at 6:30 (while I was just getting ready to do squats). A young man was caught setting fire in the bathroom. The same young man was previously banned from the gym for using a shower to flood the men's locker room and lighting a cigar in the sauna. That man is Mickey R. and not only has be stirred up trouble at my place of employment, he has infiltrated my gym. Good news though: at 7:00pm last night, as he was racing around the liquor store where my friend Steph works, probably high on meth, 4 cops charged in with their guns pointed and threw him to the floor. Then they arrested him. Guess he won't be bothering me at work or the gym anytime soon!

A Hard Day's Work

I was planning on going to the gym today, but I ended up running out of time. I went over to my mom's house after lunch and she needed some help cleaning out her basement. She's finishing her basement this week (putting up walls and drywall and such) and needed to get everything removed from the area. We devised a system where I brought boxes from the basement, and up the stairs. Then she took them from the top of the stairs and put them into her garage. My mother has a lot of boxes in her basement. So this project took over three hours (with several breaks). I must have gone up and down those stairs at least 100 times. So I figure two good hours of lifting boxes up the stairs and running back down was plenty of a workout for me today. Worked my legs, worked my arms, and I even sweated some.

I need to turn over a new leaf when it comes to eating. I have been very bad lately with eating out and eating candy and not counting calories. Obviously I have proven to myself that I can eat lots of junk if I keep working out, and maintain my weight. But I still need to lose those last pounds before I can be happy maintaining. I was hoping that if I just worked on working out lots the weight would work itself off. But that's not happening. So I really need to get somewhere before Christmas comes and nobody loses weight. Anyway, I need to go back to writing down my calories. I am also going to start over on my 10-week running plan. After a few failed runs and a few missed workouts, I might as well start again. Now ten weeks leads right up to my birthday. That's a good goal point.

Spin Span Spun

This morning I tried my first spinning class. Well, my first spin class in at least five years. It was easy. So either, I am in a lot better shape than I was five years ago when I first tried the class at Gold's, or I wasn't trying hard enough. I wasn't sweating at all (which is generally how I measure a good workout) but it was pretty cold in the room with several fans running. A few times I found myself out of breath (but only twice in the 45 minute class). And I think that my legs hurt once too. But mostly my wrists, feet, and ass hurt from the bike and the odd positions we had to be in. I definitely will try it again -- you have to try something at least three times to form a real opinion of it. The next time I will try to increase my resistance and workout harder.

I spent the afternoon looking for wedding dresses with Jen. And even though that was quite a workout, it didn't burn as many calories as the La Paz lunch we had. At least I am so full that I will hardly be eating dinner if I eat anything at all. But tomorrow I hope to get in a good run. I need something besides kickboxing that gets me sweating during the week.

Shoe Lust

Recently I have been wanting new running shoes. Or perhaps running shoes is too narrow of request. I just want new gym shoes. My running shoes are still newish. I have run about 150 miles in them, and I have read the running shoes should last 300-400 miles. Luckily my Nike plus account keeps track of how many miles I have gone in those shoes. My "regular" gym shoes, the ones I wear for kickboxing and weight lifting and walking on the treadmill, now those are going on 1.5 years old. And even though I love them, and they might be the best athletic shoes I have ever owned, and Curtis bought them for me, it might be time to get a new pair. Still, I have about 2 pairs of gym shoes in my closet that are perfectly fine, and I really should wear out a little before I get a new pair. And I don't have any money to spend on new shoes. (Remember the budget diet? It's going well, but it's very restrictive.) So lately I have developed shoe lust. I am in love with all running shoes. Everywhere I go I look at what shoes people are wearing and am jealous of them. The gym is a horrible place to have shoe lust because most people have expensive, beautifully white shoes. But now it has transferred over to normal people on the street or customers at work. I see people with great shoes, and I want to say: where did you get those? Where can I get a great pair like that? I like all althletic shoes, even shoes that I would never buy for myself end up looking great on other people. Here's a little something I wrote to let my feelings out...

An Ode to Shoes
Shoes, staring at me, wanting to go home with me.
So many pairs, squeaky new.
Without scuffs, without scars.
Helping me run faster; jump higher; kick harder.
Giving me a reason to get out the door; out of bed; to the gym.
Making me happy every time I look down.
Staring from other people's feet; mocking my foot size; my income; my desire.
Complementing my perfect feet; my toes; my outfit.
Oh how I love shoes!
Why must you hate me; taunt me; love me so?

Sleeping? Check!

I read a lot of articles in health magazines (generally directed at busy working moms) that say getting eight hours of sleep each night is one of (if not the) best thing to do for weight loss and weight maintenance. People go as far as to ask: if I have to give up my workout or my sleep, which should I choose? And the answer is usually the workout. So I have always been really proud of myself for my ability to get eight hours of sleep. I love that I can fall asleep right away every night. I love that my body wakes me up after eight hours. I love that I am refreshed and never have to take a nap, unless of course it is for enjoyment (which is reason enough!) But lately I haven't been sleeping well. And it's not because I am stressed out at work, and it's not because I am too hot or cold. It's because I have started to watch way too much tv. I don't have time to watch regular television, like other people, between the hours of 7 and 9pm. So I have begun watching shows online. Shows I never really loved before. Shows I might have watched if I had nothing better to do. But now I am watching every episode, completely. Sometimes all in one night. It's something I can start at 10:30pm (when all the good shows are over) and stop at 12:30 or 1:30 or one time this week 2:30. I have a problem. I need to stop. I need to sleep. It all ends here!

What is this? Step Class?

I was feeling a little down about kickboxing/power last night because I always end up going alone. And although I enjoy working out and realize that I don't need anyone to go with me, it's hard to go to two hours of gym time alone when I had the whole day off and didn't talk to anyone there either. It's a solitary existence that I live. But anyway, I made myself go by reminding myself how much I loved kickboxing and how disappointed I would be if I let myself skip one session. The first thing Katie asked us is: How many of you have been eating Halloween candy this week? Well I haven't been, because I don't buy chocolate, I don't crave chocolate, just Doritos. But lots of people nodded their heads and complained about how they couldn't leave it alone and how they were going to have to buy a new bag before the trick-or-treaters came by on Friday. (I just thought about how I want to go to a vineyard on Friday and get drunk...) Then Katie said she had a special surprise for us the last 15 minutes of class, to really get those Halloween candies blasted off of our body. Great. I do not like surprises. Turns out, we used the step (with a riser) to do some sort of lame kickboxing/step class routine. I don't do step class. I don't do peppy cheerleading crap. I don't hurl my body over an unstable bench with my arms in the air. I don't lift my knees unless they are crushing someone's skull in. Needless to say, the surprise was bad. And it made me want to go buy a bag of Halloween candy. I won't even go into the part where we laid on the bench (like a bodyboard) and fluttered our legs and arms and then jumped up like we were surfing. And then did about 100 squats.

When it was time for Body Power, I was in an even worse mood and not feeling like staying. But then Erin's friend Lisa came in. (My friend Lisa I should say.) Boy that made me happy. It's not like we really talked at all. But it was nice to see a friendly face and have someone stand beside me. Nobody really likes me at the new gym. Or maybe it's me who doesn't really like anyone else. So I didn't increase my squat weight like I had previously planned (see note above regarding 100 squats on surfboard type step). I stayed high on everything else and I sure can feel it today.

I had planned on going running this evening at the gym. But I had to meet my mom and aunt for dinner. Then we sat around chatting. Now it is 8:30 and I haven't gone yet. I am thinking I will give myself a break today. Besides, I still haven't eaten any Halloween candy this year!

Busy Weekend

Well my weekend was full of visiting relatives and family time and working all day both Saturday and Sunday. Unfortunately it was not full of working out and eating healthy. Yesterday afternoon I decided that I was done with this losing weight crap. First, I have been trying to lose 17 pounds forever, so obviously those 17 pounds must be pretty fond of me. Second, I can not afford new clothes right now, so what would I do if I lost 17 pounds and had to buy more pants. Third, I am just so tired of resrticting myself and there was this bag of Doritos that were staring at me, that I just had to have. Rarely do I have cravings like this. Sometimes I crave Chinese food or chocolate but it's more like an idea that passes. Never do I find my body requiring the intake of Doritos, RIGHT THIS MINUTE. So I gave in. I promised myself I would run it off later. But later, I found my body requiring my couch and the world series. So I gave in. And guess what... I was two pounds lighter this morning. Sometimes I just need to relax. Maybe I can eat Doritos sometimes, and just sit around once in a while and still be okay.

I have today off of work, since I worked all weekend. Yay, a four day week! I am torn about having Monday's off. I really like to work out hard on my days off, but today I have to wait around for my kickboxing/pump classes this evening. I would have taken those anyway, so I'm not doing any special working out today. However, Monday is the worst day at work. It seems to be the busiest and the most people call in sick, so it's just as well that I am not there. I spent my day going through my drawers and closets. I am trying to fill two boxes to give to goodwill. I've got one full so far. It has been a fun afternoon trying on pants and realizing how far I have come. I've also realized that I have more pants than shirts. This is an interesting problem. I am not quite sure what I am going to wear all winter.

Pizza Should Help

Today's Running Goal: 2.25 miles at 5.0mph
Completed: 1 mile (maybe!)
Failure again. It wasn't hot in the gym. I wasn't tired from working all day. I didn't have music or headphone issues. I just had no hope of pushing through. The idea of running 27 minutes really daunted me. Even after 10 minutes, seventeen more was way too many to conquer. So I let myself quit. Then I walked uphill for a while. I even threw in a few minute-runs up the incline. But I had to leave the gym after about 30 minutes because I thought I had lunch plans at noon. My uncle and his friend from California are in town visiting and we are supposed to go to Valentino's for lunch. Because all out-of-towners love pizza. Turns out that it is now 12:30 and I am still waiting to hear when they will be in town and I'll be able to eat. You know what my biggest pet-peeve is? And I mean BIGGEST!? Catering my life around someone else's time-table only to have them disappoint me. For instance: I got out of bed, made myself go to the gym, cut my workout short, only to get home and wait around for the the plan-makers to change the plans. I could have stayed at the gym for a whole hour, or slept longer, or eaten breakfast, or something. Ugh!!!

Is Work Making Me Fat?

Work has been stressful this week. There seems to be nobody working but me. My boss calls in sick all the time and I have worked alone a lot. After three hours alone this morning, I was in a bad mood when Marcy came in. I had a quick lunch with Jennifer in which I got a salad at Burger King and was too exhausted to complain when they gave me breaded chicken instead of grilled (180 extra calories). Still, I was calmed down and ready to work hard this afternoon. About 3:00 Marcy went on her break and came back with a Hershey chocolate bar for me. How sweet! And full of calories. But I enjoyed it. Now I have eaten way too many calories for the day. But I have tomorrow off of work. So I probably won't have to quit!

Stress = Fat

+ Candy Bars = Fat

Work = Fat

Who Will You Root For?

I suppose I have to go for the Tampa Bay Rays. Partly because they are an American league team; partly because they beat the Redsox; but mostly because they are young and have never won and probably don't get paid much. And there's nothing I love more than a team that plays for the love of the game. Although if things go as they have been for me, whoever I choose to root for is going to lose.

Speaking of the love of the game, I went to kickboxing and body power again tonight. I had set a goal to move my weights up tonight. I thought that I should be able to use the same weights I had been using in August. I wasn't too sore on Tuesday, so I figure it's time to increase. The problem was, I was exhausted after kickboxing, so the idea of increasing my squat weight almost made me cry. I wanted to go home, but I made myself stay. At least I was there. So I increased my chest and shoulder and tricep weight, and will leave the squats for next time. Body Power is definitely different when done dripping in sweat. And I wonder: will I ever do it dry again?

You know what's better than having two hours done on Monday? Having five hours of workout time over with by Wednesday night. This is a great plan! I will take Thursdays off (the whole ten hour work day thing) and get back to the gym on Friday and Sunday. YAY, this might be the first week I get seven hours done, in months!

The List

In the last year I have...

1) Learned to Kickbox and love it.
2) Run two more 5ks; one in which I started late and the other in which I finished late.
3) Had my fitness classes removed from existence and had to find them back.
4) Bought some super-cute running shoes; and have since put a hole in the toe.
5) Learned to use an ATM machine.
6) Attended my 10 year High School Reunion at my lowest weight of all time.
7) Eaten/complained about a lot of cake.
8) Almost cut off my toe at Hy-Vee, which really would have hindered my running career.
9) Bought a new bike, only to find out that the bike doesn't make it easier to get up a hill.
10) Ran in California.
11) Ran in Georgia.
12) Attempted to do pilates only to discover I have no powerhouse.
13) Re-introduced myself to the girl's weight room at the gym.
14) Been given a stair-machine for my house, although it has yet to be delivered.
15) Discovered a beautiful running trail right by my dad's house.
16) Taught my mom's dog to run three miles.
17) Lost some weight and at least a clothing size.
18) Lost some other things that were important to me as well.
19) Been forced to be the strongest I have ever been.
20) Discovered that sometimes surviving is good enough!

One Year Ago Today

Just one year ago today I ran my first 5k. In May of 2007 I decided that I wanted to be able to run two miles. So I set up some training plan and got there. I began by running a few minutes and then walking a few minutes because that is what all the beginners guide to running tell you do to. Eventually I was running 2 miles and wanting to kill myself, yet I was very proud of my accomplishments. Then somewhere along the way I decided to run a 5k. I don't remember now if this was Curtis's idea. Or if Jen suggested it. Or if I read about it somewhere and thought that it sounded like a lofty goal. But I accomplished it. My only hope was that I would finish it. And although I did have to take a couple breathing breaks/tie my shoes break, I was very proud of myself for achieving something I never thought I would be able to do.

Now it is one year later... and how oh so far I have come. If I was in a more optimistic mood right now I would list those accomplishments here. But as it is, I have been in a funk lately and will just leave it at that. Which brings me to...

Today's Running Goal: Practice 5k at 5.1 mph plus walk breaks

Completed: 2.5k and then nothing

I failed. I had several problems with my run and the least of these were the fact that it was 110 degrees in the gym. So after I ran the first half and took my first walking break I just could not start again. So I let myself quit. The strangest thing is that I had done this run before. This was no faster or longer than I had run in the past. What went wrong? Then I biked for a while which was also difficult and sweat-inducing. Then I went home and celebrated with a warm mug of cocoa!

Two a Good Start

Finally this week I am going to be able to attend two Body Power classes and two kickboxing classes. I just can't say enough good things about Kickboxing. I feel like the 45 minutes are finally getting easier. And I don't know if it's the nicer/cooler weather outside and inside, or the fact that I am getting used to the back to back power tracks with no deep breathing and hardly any drink breaks. But you know what else is great about Goodyear? The free towels. I realized something great about Katie (the instructor) today. She points out which muscle group you are working while doing the punches. Every time we do upper-cuts she reminds us of how great our biceps will look, and when we are doing hooks she points out how hard your shoulders are working. Before I had never thought of the different muscle groups kickboxing was working, just that it was working my upper body, and that it was burning so many calories.

I am also feeling that the body power class is getting easier. I have yet to get up to my pre-break weights. But I am noticing that the lower weights aren't as hard as they once were. Although believe me, I will probably be sore tomorrow none the less. It's difficult to make myself raise my weights when I know it will be hard to get out of my chair at work tomorrow.

What I love the most is getting two hours of workouts done in just the first day of the week. There is no better start than that!

Always a Bridesmaid

I meant to mention this earlier, but got busy with my race training. My friend Jen has asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I of course said yes! This will be my first chance at being a bridesmaid for someone. Jen is allowing everyone to purchase different dresses, as long as they are all black. This means that I can find one that looks super-cute on me! The wedding date is August 29th, 2009, that is 45 weeks from today. That might sound like a lot of weeks, but it will pass quickly. Since my goal is to be the second best looking person up there (next to Jen of course) I have a lot of work to do. It's a summer wedding, so no doubt my arms will be bare. I need to concentrate on getting my upper-body in perfect shape. Jen's arms are already awesome, so she just needs to maintain that greatness. Lucky her. Besides the fact that she's the bride and will look beautiful no matter what. The good news is that arms are really easy to spot train because they are such small muscles. Still, I only have 45 weeks, or 90 Body Power classes to attend. I'm just not sure that's enough. So I am going to add 20 minutes of weight machines or free weights once a week, just working my triceps, biceps, and shoulders. Thanks Jen, for giving me something to work towards!

Today's Running Goal: 2 miles at 5.0mph (12:00 miles)
Completed: 2 miles in 23:28 (11:44 miles)
Before I started I thought that this run would be really easy. I mean, I had been running 17 minutes non-stop at 5.2 last week, so I thought that slowing down would mean I could go a lot longer. But I was tired 10 minutes in. The gym was really warm, and I was dripping with sweat as soon as I started. Even though the goal was just two miles, I had thought to myself, what if I took a little walk break at two miles and then ran until I got to three or four. That never happened. I was exhausted at the two mile mark. But that's okay because that was the goal. Now I know my ten week plan to run 4.5 miles is spot on. I ran the first 1.75 miles at the 5.0 pace and then sprinted the end. Jen had mentioned that she got faster by sprinting at the end each time, so I am going to keep adding that to each of my runs. I also started my upper-body weight lifting plan for 20 minutes today. Perhaps having a body-goal will keep me from fretting about the number on the scale so much.

I forgot to believe

When I got home from the gym this evening I wrote the following: The Red Sox didn't make it to the World Series this year, but they did get me to the gym for an hour and a half after work. I left the gym when the Red Sox were down 7-0 in the seventh inning. Then I raced home and glued myself to the foxsports live gamecast so I could watch the last three innings. Boy was I wrong. They came back; they won; they are still alive! And they still got me to the gym! Even though Thursday is my long day (10 hours) and I usually don't make myself go to the gym after all that. But after spending only 40 minutes of the last week working out, I knew that I had to get some workout time in. And it helped that the Red Sox game was playing only on TBS, which I don't get at home. So my only options were to go to a bar and watch the game, thus eating a large amount of fried food, or go to the gym and burn off calories while I watched. From now on, I promise to believe.

Tonight was the first time in a long while that I have been to the gym and didn't run. Well, I mean to Gold's, because of course I do other things when I go for the classes. This evening I walked hills for 45 minutes and then I went over to the bikes for 45. I got a good workout on both. I have been pretty sore all day from Body Power yesterday. So any walking or biking felt like I was working really hard. Now I am happy for the Red Sox win, happy because I got 90 minutes of sweat-time in and am wrapped up in my electric blanket!

That's Hot

I left here last week and it was beautiful fall weather. I packed fall clothes for Atlanta (jeans and t-shirts) and sometimes I was too hot there. Amy even had her air conditioning running. But every day I checked the Lincoln weather and you guys were enjoying temperatures in the 70s as well. Then I spend Tuesday in a car, only to get out during winter. What happened? Where did fall go? I was so chilly today that I turned on my heat. Then this evening I just could not warm up, so I went searching for my electric blanket. I hate being cold. I dread this 6 month period where I seem to never be able to warm up. This is just one more reason I love the gym. This is my one time per day that I can thaw out. For one hour (or two in tonight's case) I sweat and drip and am finally warm. And never for once do I wish I was cooler, because warmth is all I wish for the other 23 hours of the day. I love the gym!

Back to Good

The good news is: I only gained three pounds while on vacation. And if you would have seen all the crap we shoved in our faces, you'd be amazed too. How come vacations always revolve around eating? And imagine a sixteen hour car ride. You eat even though you aren't hungry. It's just what there is to do between listening to books on CD, filling up the gas tank, reading magazines, and sleeping. And besides that 5k, I didn't do any exercising in Atlanta. Amy's gym cost $10 per guest, which was just ridiculous. And though I wanted to go running in this beautiful park across the street from Amy's house, my non-running friends (Jennifer and Amy) quickly put the kibosh on that idea. The bad news is: I still have seventeen pounds that I would like to lose and it just seems impossible. Have I been at seventeen pounds for like five months now or what?

So now that my vacation is over, it is time for me to get back on track. I am excited to get back to body power this evening. I haven't actually developed a routine since the classes got back to normal. I am ready to get my muscles in peek shape and not be sore all the time. I have also made a new running plan. It's a ten-week plan that leads right up to Christmas. (Don't fret ladies, but Christmas is just ten weeks away.) Basically I will be continuing my 5k runs twice a week increasing the running speed each week, but still allowing me to take two walk breaks. Another time each week I am going to work on distance instead, and running further each time. By Christmas I should be able to do 4.5 miles without stopping (slowly) and run a 5k in record time (34 minutes?). The problem is I have nothing to train for and that makes me sad. There's nothing like a goal to get me excited. But anything more than ten weeks away is too long-term for me.

Back Home

We made it home. We started driving this morning at 8:00am (that's 7:00am here) and just pulled into my driveway at about midnight. It is good to be back in my bed, with my own shower and my own belongings. Not that Amy's house and couch weren't great places to spend the week. It's just nice to be home. I can't wait to get back to the gym tomorrow -- kickboxing and bodypower. I don't have to work tomorrow (we weren't sure we'd make it back in one day) so I have some time to unpack and get back on schedule. I need to spend some time finding a new race to work on, and making some new running goals. That last one was so disappointing that I need to prove some stuff to myself real soon.

Here are some pictures from our 5k day. It sucks to not have an "audience" on race day, so nobody took my picture while running or crossing the finish line.

After the Race

Yummy Atlanta Treats

(The reason we had to run.)

Worst Thing Ever

I was prepared for this. I had an eight-week training plan. I only missed ten training days, and a lot of that had to do with the fact they took my weight class away two weeks in. Even if I couldn't make the 37 minutes which was my goal, I knew that I would beat my last time of 39:50. I knew I could do this. I slept well. I ate a banana. I was at the starting line when the "go" was announced. Then I met the Atlanta hills. I couldn't do them. I basically collapsed under them. They were too steep to run down, definitely too steep to run up. I had to walk way more than usual. I wanted to cry. My final time was 40:10. That's horrible. The first time I ever ran a 5k I did it in 41 minutes. I feel like I shouldn't have even bothered. I am hugely disappointed. On an uplifting note: even the fasted guy ran it in 18 something -- three minutes slower than the fastest guy in Lincoln ran our last race. Therefore the fact that I was three minutes slower as well, means at least I can handle the hills as well as the fastest guy! Photos will come, once I get to my own computer!

Road Trip

That's us! Except we aren't in a green car. And we had enough room in the trunk to put all of our stuff. (Hey, no junk in the truck jokes please!) We are busy driving through the following states: Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennesee and Georgia. We are not working out. We are sitting on our asses, eating gas station food and drinks. Hope you all are doing well!

Last Try

Today's Running Goal: Last Practice 5k at 5.2 mph (11:30 minute miles) + walking breaks + sprint to the finish line.
What I did: 5k in 37:46 (12:10 minute miles)

I had a lot of nervous energy today because I was anticipating my vacation. On the other hand I worked really hard at work (two people called in sick) and I had a lot to get ready before I left. Still, I was determined to accomplish this running goal, because it was the last chance I would have to practice. I understand that running that fast once is not going to make it any easier to run that fast in the long-term. The idea is more about pacing. If I know that I have run that fast (just once) and made it to the end, then I will know on race day that I can push myself that much. Otherwise, I will let myself slow down because I will be worried about making it to the end. Even though I accomplished my goal today, it just isn't fast enough. I am pretty sure I won't be able to shave 46 second off of my time even with the momentum of the race. I was pushing myself super-hard. And I sprinted faster than I ever have in my life to try and come in under 37 minutes. It was more difficult than normal because I haven't run in almost two weeks. My cold kept me from getting to the gym late last week. And this week I have only taken classes. Still, I know that 45 minutes of kick-ass kickboxing teaches my lungs to hold oxygen just as well as running. And the weight lifting has to be helping my leg muscles to push off harder. If I just had about three more weeks, I might have been able to do it. Or if I could convince myself (and Jennifer) that we didn't need the two walking breaks. But, oh how I do.

I am getting nervous, and getting antsy to leave. I guess I'd better pack. I will keep you guys updated. They do have Internet in Georgia right?

I Was Gonna

I was gonna go to the gym at 7:00 until it turned out I had to work this evening for Marcy who went home ill.
I was gonna watch the Biggest Loser while I ran until it was already over.
I was gonna make myself go to the gym after work anyway until I remembered that Elijah was stopping by Jennifer's house to sell me boy scout popcorn.
I was gonna do my laundry and get packed for my trip until I didn't end up getting home until after 10pm.
I was gonna eat cereal for dinner until Jennifer offered me cheesecake.
I was gonna recalibrate my IPod so it is perfect for Saturday's race until I never made it to the gym.
I was gonna go to bed early so I could get to the gym tomorrow morning until I got online.
I was gonna do everything perfectly until I realized that life happens and you have to go with the flow.