What's Wrong with Me?

Another two plus weeks with no blogging action. What is wrong with me? I vow to back to a place where I have something worth while to say. The more I talk about working out the more I like to do it. And the more I have to admit that I ate three desserts the less I want to do it. So blogging is good on many levels. And if I continue blogging maybe you will too. And reading your posts helps me most of all.

Last night Brandy and I tried out the YMCA. Lincoln has four YMCA locations, all of which you get to attend if you join one branch. Two locations are nice and new (one is 30 minutes away down south, the other is 15 minutes away out by my mom's house). The one by me is old. And it shows. But I got a guest pass in the mail and was determined to try two classes there and to judge the entire gym on that experience! First we took spinning. It was excellent. Although I missed my goodyear-gals, I found the class a great workout. Everyone was welcoming and the bikes were wonderful. They have digital readouts so you know how hard you are working. And, all the bikes work, which is quite an improvement from Goodyear. This gym was getting high rankings by me! Then we tried Power Pump. I had my fingers crossed that this would be similar to BodyPump. It was not. I just don't understand people who take these weight-lifting classes. Once you do bodypump, you'll never go back. That being said, I am a tad sore today. And I can see how doing these different moves might work different muscles than I am used to. But I didn't break a sweat in class, and I wouldn't say I was at all worn out. I could have done these same things during the commercial break of a television show. Maybe I will.

Two Weeks, No Blog?

I have never gone two weeks without updating, and I am feeling bad about it. But I have't been feeling great the last two weeks in more than one way, so it's hard to think of uplifting and motivating things to write about. I got a cold the week of Thanksgiving, and although I never had a second to take off from life, I took a little time off from working out (five days). I went back to class on Wednesday evening for a slightly easier version of that Boxing class and then Thursday ended up with a mild case of food poisoning. I was only out for a day with that, but ended up losing four pounds. After two solid weeks of having no consistency I find it is a lot easier to skip working out and not worrying about what I am eating. However, I need to turn that around this week and that is why I am finally updating this blog.

I have been feeling pretty depressed about my life lately, and that's just not something I like to put out there on the Internet for everyone to read. When I turned 29 last year I promised to have a different life by this time next year. And I don't. I have a worse life. And now I have one month left to get into a good place. I know that a lot of exercise and healthy eating can get me in a better frame of mind... and that's all I can change.

Body Healing

Today's Running Distance: 3 miles
Time: 35:02 (11:40 miles)
Brandy and I met this morning, on a beautiful fall day, to try and run three miles fast. I haven't tried to beat any times since that race last month (four weeks ago). For the last few weeks we have been practicing getting distance miles (four) in. So we figured that it was time to see if I could go any faster. Turns out, I am even slower. I had to walk for just a bit half way trough. It just doesn't seem to get any easier. I need to make sure to get in more than one run a week.

I took the last two day off from working out. But my body needed time to heal after that Wednesday workout. My arms were so sore from punching. My abs were so sore from that class. I was just a wreck. But we're planning on going back again next Wednesday. I think that it could do some good. And I have eaten pretty well the last few days. And plan to keep that up for the weekend. I need to see a weight loss on Monday. It has to get me through the holiday week.

Boxing

Yowza! I had a half day today so I went to the gym 30 minutes early (even though I wanted to stay home and finish my book) to take the abs class. It wasn't too bad. The teacher, Mike, wasn't real excited about doing abs and the class was really small. So it was more like we did some abs and then sat around a bit. I did hurt myself when I fell off the ball (really I "casually rolled" off the ball) onto a weight I had stacked next to it. I already have a bruise on my shin/knee. I'm sure I will feel it tomorrow though. Another 20 minutes of abs is bound to effect something. Then Brandy joined me for the class, which I am simply going to refer to as: Boxing. It was good. First we warmed up in the gym by running laps and other things such as high knees and side shuffles (groan!). Then we did some sort of interval training where we did some boxing moves (jab, cross, hook, uppercut, front kick, roundhouse) in between one minute of jumping a rope. Jumping rope is a lot harder than it used to be as a fifth grader during recess. I seem to remember it being fun. But not so much. We were dripping with sweat after just 20 minutes. I never thought I would make it through and at one point Brandy claimed to be too delirious to know what was going on. Mike, the teacher, is a tad annoying in the sense that he doesn't actually do the moves. He just walks around and makes sure that we are doing them right. But he did whip out the punching pads (which he wears on his hands and we punch and kick them). It was amazing how much stronger you are when you are actually punching against something other than air. But my delicate hands turned red immediately and I even broke a blood vessel and have a little red mark. Good thing I am no longer on "hand-preservation-mode" for the wedding. Brandy thinks we might have to get wraps if we're going to continue with this. Overall though, it reminded me how much easier Spinning is than Kickboxing. I haven't been that tired in a long time. Even running doesn't exhaust me to the same degree. Probably because I can't push myself as hard as an instructor could. I wonder how fast I could run if I took a running class. I'll go again, but I am scared to go without a friend. What if I pass out?

Back to Intervals

Generally I allow myself to take Tuesdays off from working out since I work eleven hour days. But since I am trying to increase my workout time each week I made myself go to the gym. Besides, I didn't have anything else planned, and if I allowed myself to think up a social activity it would have involved Tuesday-night Margaritas and Mazatlan! But enough unhealthy talk. Instead I drug (dragged?) my behind to the gym to watch the last hour of The Biggest Loser. It inspires me to workout harder. I decided that I needed to get back to running intervals if I was ever going to speed up my running routine. Even though I have nothing to train for I am wanting to run three times a week. At least once with Brandy, once as intervals and one long run by myself. So I did ten walk/run intervals for twenty minutes. I kept it up at 6.0 the entire run-time which is a difficult speed for me to maintain, but one I would love to be able to do for 30 minutes one day.

Then I came home and had some chocolate fondue.

Perfected Something

It turns out I pretty much have perfected maintaining this weight. For the last two weeks I have eaten everything under the sun and worked out an average of 5 or 6 hours and I have stayed precisely at 15 pounds. I guess it's motivating to know that if I could be happy with this weight I seem to have found the right habits to keep it here. Upsettingly, I am not happy at this weight and therefore I must change something (or lots of somethings) if I do want to see a change. First and foremost I need to watch what I am eating. I have been saying that for the last week and you're probably getting tired of reading about it. I did pretty well today. I did let myself have a little bit of chocolate, but other than that, I kept my meals small and healthy. How good for you are Graham Crackers? Secondly, I need to get back to working out seven or eight hours a week. I hate to commit to that much time at the gym because it really gets in the way of having a social life. But the truth is: I don't have a social life, and if I continue to run with Brandy once a week I am combining exercise and socializing. Either way, I need to commit to this.

As much as I have grown to love Spinning and the gals I have befriended in class, I am eager to try kickboxing again. I mentioned that Wednesdays were more of a boxing class now and Brandy and I are going to try it this week. But today I saw that the Monday teacher has changed as well. I have no idea what kind class she will teach. But I did hear her tell Mary that she taught at Gold's several years back (I don't remember her). I would love to be able to mix up my workout depending on what I felt like and how much my legs wanted to be exhausted versus my upperbody. Speaking of my upperbody: it's hard to keep using the Medium and Small weights during the shoulder track. Before I would just keep repeating: you must have great shoulders for Jennifer's wedding. Now that it's over, what do I shout at myself?

I Can't Stop Eating

There is too much junk food in my house. And I can't make myself throw it away. At least now it is all over a week old and I don't have to eat it anymore. Tomorrow I will throw away the left over fried chicken, the spinach dip, the chocolate fondue. I should also make myself go to the grocery store and buy some healthy fruit and vegetables. But all the martinis still need to be drunk (drank? drunken?), and there is way too many dollars of alcohol in there that I can not pour down the drain. Who will help me drink them? It's not like having a glass of wine with dinner. You don't sit down and drink martinis by yourself.

I was supposed to go running with Brandy this morning but she bailed on me. I can't blame her; she was up late celebrating her 30th birthday. Then I got a call and had to go into work. So I never got around to working out. It was so busy at work today, that I hardly sat down. And for that reason, it seems like I already burned enough calories. But I just came home and ate some chocolate and vanilla wafers. I need to have a good week now. Thanksgiving is just two weeks away, and we know that week will be shot to hell. What am I going to do? I need to stop eating!

Some Running

I haven't been doing much running lately. But I am at least keeping up a weekly routine of meeting Brandy. Last week we did four miles around Mahoney Park the morning after Jennifer's bachelorette party. I had only gotten three hours sleep and was completely dehydrated. This morning we met there again and did another four miles. It was perfect weather, although quite humid for a fall day. I had slept eight hours and was in perfect physical condition and it was harder! Last week we did it in: 45:54. This week it took 46:05. I guess we were probably running a little faster this week because I had to take two walk breaks -- and I still finished in almost the exact time. I would really like to get in the habit of doing two three mile runs and a four mile run each week. I am glad that Brandy likes getting out there with me because she is a great motivator and running partner. I hope that she has a great 30th birthday tomorrow. We are celebrating with Lazlo's fries and free dessert tonight.

I skipped Butts and Guts last night because I was exhausted from work. Someone called in sick, someone took a day of vacation, someone had a family emergency and someone had family in the volleyball tournament, and eventually it was just me left at work. Sure it was only for a few hours before someone else had to come and take over the "alone time" but it wares on a girl. Just because I am never sick, don't have family emergencies, or family in volleyball tournaments doesn't mean I have to get left with all the work! So I relaxed at home last night eating/drinking leftovers and watching some sappy chick-flick.

The Void

Remember how I said that I had a void in my life. I have spent so much time thinking about/planning/preparing for Jennifer's wedding and now it is over. She's on her honeymoon so she doesn't have to go on with her real life. But me, I have to move forward now. And the last two days I have filled that void with junk food. Imagine all the crap I have left over from the Bachelorette party, plus tons of left over food from the wedding, plus cake and mints. I should go to the grocery store to get some healthy options, but it's not like I don't have enough to eat. I just feel guilty throwing all that food away. I've already taken cupcakes to work. Tomorrow I might have to take something else... Fried Chicken???

I did go to Spinning and BodyPower tonight. I was so sore from taking a week off. I am never doing that again. But it felt good to go back tonight. And in everything but squats I was back up to my normal weight limits. We had a sub for Spinning tonight -- Jen the head aerobics teacher at Goodyear. She was really good and the class had me working really really hard. As I headed into the BodyPower class though a man was teaching it. According to the few participants, he is the new teacher and he does a bunch of boxing type exercises: punching, jumping rope, skipping, etc... I think I will try that out next Wednesday. That sounds much better than the jazzersize class they're still holding (often with nobody attending) on Monday.

I am considering going to Butts and Guts tomorrow night. I know that I will be sore this weekend, but I should try to get to that class more often. Brandy and I are planning on running on Friday morning (or afternoon) and I hope that we will do another 4 miles together. Friday night we're going to dinner for her 30th birthday. Maybe I can talk her into running on Sunday too!

Free Time

The wedding festivities are all over. The out of town guests have returned to their homes. I finally can get my life on track. Although honestly, I feel a huge void right now where I don't know what to do with myself. I felt like this when I had finished running that 10k in June. Everything I have been working toward for the last so many months is over and now I have no goals. So I need to work on getting some fitness goals again. My weight was up (a lot) this week due to crappy eating and a lot of alcohol drinking. My stomach has been upset since Thursday night's Bachelorette party. Still, I got up and ran 4 miles with Brandy on Friday, which was a really good choice. Saturday was so busy that I hardly ate anything and then spent 5 hours on the dance floor. But cake and left overs, and more drinking with out of town guests on Sunday. Plus cake for Grandma's birthday today... just needs to end. This morning I was (luckily) only at 15 pounds from my goal weight. I need to pick up the pace and get this over with. You know it was one of my 30 things goals -- to reach my goal weight by my 30th birthday. And now the holidays are coming. And I am still determined to get there.

I went spinning tonight and could tell that I had taken a week off. I am getting to the point where I know exactly how to turn the knob to make it harder and I made myself push as hard as I could. Still, I hadn't noticed all last week that my knee didn't hurt very much. And as soon as I got off that spinning bike that old familiar pain was back. I went to BodyPower but had to go light on several tracks. What a week off will do to you. The good news is, I know I can go higher again on Wednesday. I don't know that I have taken an entire week off from classes since they cancelled them on me over a year ago.

Anyway, here's to new goals!

Really Bad Idea

I didn't even want to post today. I am incredibly embarrassed by my weight gain this week. But even more I am in disbelief. I had a six pound weight gain this week. I don't even want to do the math to see how that is physically possible. How many thousand of extra calories I would have had to eaten in just seven days to see a gain like that. Instead I am blaming it on the salty Chinese food and some kind of water retention. But then to make matters even worse, I started feeling ill today. I have a sore throat and a runny nose. It could easily be that it was cold in the library today, and I wasn't wearing enough close. Plus I only got 5.5 hours of sleep last night. But either way, I skipped the gym this evening. I can't risk getting sick for real this week. To many super-important festivities. And because of those festivities I don't see my eating habits changing much. After this wedding is over, then my life can get back on track.

Bad Idea

So the zero-workout-plan works fine if you eat really well all week. If you can keep to 1200 calories per day, then the working out bit isn't as important. And as I mentioned before by not working out I don't need the extra calories. Still, I eat like crap. This week I ate Chinese food twice. I had fried food once. And at least ten pieces of Halloween chocolate. That mixed with no working out doesn't equal weight loss; in fact it equals weight gain.

Luckily I did end up working out six hours this week. Two classes on both Monday and Wednesday. A 35 minute run with Brandy on Saturday. And a 70 minute visit to the gym this evening where I did uphill walking and hard biking. Spinning class has really taught me how to push myself really hard on the gym bikes. I had my heart rate up to 165 and my legs were shaking.

I am not looking forward to weighing in tomorrow morning. And I am not anticipating a week of good eating. This week will be filled with parties, drinking and celebrating Jennifer's wedding. At least I plan to fill it with hours of workout. I think I am putting a hiatus on the zero-workout-plan. Although I'm not sure I ever really tried that plan, seeing as I got five and six hours of gym time in each week.

Logical

I had a one pound loss this week. I'm back to that dreaded 13 pound mark. But still, a loss! And I only worked out 4 hours. Honestly I thought that it would be a little lower. I ate really well all week (except for margaritas/mexican on Monday) and just felt lighter. Don't ask me to explain that. I can't help but feeling like I could have lost more if I had gone to the gym a few more hours. Still, it seems logical that if I had worked out last night after work I would have come home and eaten a snack (probably a fattening one) instead of just watching the baseball game and reading a book. I also need to take into account that working out makes me feel better about myself. If I skip the gym I feel depressed and sad and worthless so that benefit can't be overlooked. But what portion of that is guilt? It's hard to "let" myself skip the gym.

My goal for this week is to attend Spinning and BodyPower twice. I am dog-sitting on Thursday so if it is not raining, I hope to run/walk with Hannah. Besides that I will see how I am feeling. It seems really freeing not to have to cram an hour workout into each day. Especially because I am in the middle of a seven-day work stretch. But if the scale starts moving up, or a hint of depression sets in, I need to get back to the gym.

I want everyone's opinion: is it logical that I could lose more weight by cutting back on the cardio?

Zero Workout Plan

I have a new thought on working out: don't do so much of it. Every once in a while I go through this phase where I just don't feel like working out. This generally translates into four to five hours of gym time opposed to the usual seven I do. And in these periods of slacking I generally find that I lose weight. How baffling! I wonder if I am losing muscle or something like that. But what if this is the theory: when I workout seven plus hours a week, I eat more. And I probably eat more than the 300ish calories I burn by working out. I'm not saying that I am going to quit working out entirely. I am just going to tone it down a little and see if I see results. This week I have only worked out four hours (and probably won't add any more tomorrow). My scale was down two pounds this morning. So far it's working! On the other hand, when I am not working out, I crave it. I can't wait to go running and see how far/fast/long I can run. Maybe a little downtime with be good for me in several ways.

Back in the Saddle

Even though I was pretty scared to go back, I got back in the saddle tonight at tackled Spinning. I had to keep telling myself that having your toe strap break and cracking your ankle is a fluke accident and it wouldn't happen to me. But boy was it scary. Still, I got a pretty good workout in. And the emergency from Monday has really bonded me with the ladies in class. I have grown closer to them in the last six weeks than I have the entire year I was taking Kickboxing.
I was very sore yesterday and today from my high-squat weights in BodyPower on Monday. But I kept it up again tonight and I am feeling better already. Other than that every thing's about the same. I have Thursday and Friday off from work (before I work seven straight days in a row) so I might be mixing up some workouts in the next few days. I will keep you posted.

New Hopes

I worked out seven hours this last week, even though I felt like I was slacking. I guess the three hour start on Monday really helped out. Then I took my normal two classes on Wednesday, plus an interval run/weights on Saturday and finally yesterday's race. Still I ate whatever I wanted and the scale jumped up and down all week. It landed at 14 pounds this morning. Obviously I am not going to be where I need to be in three weeks for Jennifer's wedding. But I am going to make a good effort to work on it this week. I need to get back to writing down everything I eat. Starting tomorrow! Tonight I am going out for celebratory Margaritas with Shannon and some others. There has to be some benefit to putting myself through all that race trauma.

Tonight in Spinning there was a catastrophe. About five minutes before class was over we were all standing up sprinting (going as fast as we can) when this girl's foot strap broke. Her ankle twisted in the toe brace and immediately began swelling. She couldn't put any weight on it and eventually began crying. It scared us all. I don't need that happening to me. Hurting myself is one of my greatest fears. Like one of these times when I am running too fast, or in the rain, or off of curbs, I am going to fall and break something. But then I remember that that kind of thing only happens to Jennifer, so I am safe!

Now that my race is over I jumped right back to my high squat weights. I am sure that I will pay for that tomorrow, but it will be a good pain. I also remember, just in time, that I meant to use Larges for warm up. It is really helping to make shoulders easier and maybe even biceps. Do you notice that you don't warm up your triceps or chest. How are those supposed to ever get stronger?

More Race Disappointments

Finishing VERY Late

I am almost ashamed of today's race. And I really don't know why I keep putting myself through this. My goal was 34 minutes, and I knew it was a lofty goal. At worst I thought that I would be able to do it in 36 minutes. But after the chip-time delay, I am looking at a 38:48 minute run. That sucks! It's my perfectionism that holds me back. I have said before that I am not motivated by these runs. Being next to a bunch of runners doesn't inspire me. It makes me nervous. And since this race wasn't until 3pm I had the entire day to feel nauseous. I hardly ate anything. But the key was I started too fast. I told myself that I just needed to go out and run as fast as possible. But, I ran the first half mile in 4:30, which is much too fast for me. I let myself slow down slightly because I can't run three miles in 9-minute-miles. I KNOW that. However, that first five minutes took it all out of me. I couldn't get my breathing back in order. I couldn't push myself. Then my shoe came untied and I let myself walk for 30 seconds. After that, my perfectionism takes over. Once I know that I am not gonna make it, then I figure why even bother. I ended up walking three times. The whole thing is ridiculous. I ran three miles with Brandy just a week ago in 33 minutes. Why do I keep putting myself through this? Why do I pay money to suck it up? The truth? Because it's the only thing that keeps me running. And of course I said that I would never do it again. But instead I just don't want to do it again until I am faster. I do still want to run a 10k with Jen, because we've never run together and she's my biggest running motivation. I am frustrated. But I want to keep up my running and work on getting faster this winter while I am trapped in the gym. Then when spring comes and I can go outside again, I can work on building up my endurance at that faster pace. Frustration all around. But I am thankful for my running partners. I hope that they will continue to run with me even when we have nothing to train for.

Shannon, Karrie and Brandy

Three's Company Too

I worked out almost three hours today. Luckily I had taken the day off of work, and had plenty of time to do that. And I didn't do much else. This morning I woke up at 7am to go running with my friend/coworker Shannon. She has just recently begun to run and is going to be joining me this Sunday for the Governor's Cup Race. She had never actually run outside, so we tested her ability this morning. It was so early that I didn't feel like pushing too much, and she doesn't talk as much as Brandy, and it was rainy, and cold. But we did three miles in 35:20. That's not bad given all that criteria. And we both feel like we can push ourselves on race day to come in just under 34 minutes. I am going to do another long run (4 miles) later this week, and then I will done with my training. During Saturday's intervals I must have hurt my knee. It has been quite painful for me to go up and down stairs for the last two days. But it didn't seem to effect my run.

This evening I attended my regular Spinning class. Brandy joined me, but we weren't able to get bikes next to each other, which is unfortunate. As always, this was an excellent hour of sweating and my knee didn't hurt at all during this class. We stayed for BodyPower but I had to skip out on squats because that hurt my knee a lot. Besides that it was an excellent class. I have used a large weight on the warm up a few times now, but often I forget until I am half way through and it's too late to increase. I need to figure out a way to remember.

After all of that you'd think that my weight would react in some way. But I have not been eating well at all. Yesterday was Jennifer's wedding shower and I ate two pieces of cake plus some mints. Then Jen and I stopped for margaritas and chips and salsa before she had to go back to Omaha. Finally, after four hours of making/stuffing favor boxes with Jennifer's family, we order pizza. It's not like I am eating a ton of food. I am just eating junk. I definitely need to eat more healthier during this week leading up to my race. Well, and you know, the rest of my life!

More Intervals

Today's Running Goal: 24 minutes of Intervals (2/2)
Accomplished: 6 sets of intervals: 6.0mph, 6.0mph, 6.0mph, 5.8 mph, 5.7mph, 5.8mph
This morning I had to get up early (well 9:00) to get a good workout in before I went to attempt to donate blood for the second time this week. But it was a good workout. And I was really proud of myself because it was the kind of morning you want to snuggle into your bed, look at the snow coming down, and drink some coffee and eat pancakes. But I was trudging through the snow to the empty gym to run some fast intervals. Yes, they felt really fast, but the two minutes seemed like enough time to recover. I started off really well with the 10 minute miles. But by the fourth session I had to let myself slow down... but just slightly. In the 24 minutes of running and walking I went 1.9 miles (12:45 minute-miles average). Even though the gym was freezing and I thought that their heat must have broken, I was drench in sweat when I was finished. But my muscles felt pretty good afterward. When I was done, I went upstairs and did an upper body weight lifting session. Then out of nowhere as I was getting ready and leaving to donate blood, my knee started hurting when I went down the stairs. And it has hurt ever since. I have no idea what that is from. Did I hurt it this morning during my interval runs? Is it an injury from those fast miles I ran last night? Is it a repercussion from all the spinning I have been taking? It's the same knee, but not the same location of pain. Hopefully I can get over that... I have a race a week from tomorrow.

My weight has been the same all week. Today I got to eat cookies at the blood bank (I ate them on Thursday too, when I had a high temperature and wasn't allowed to donate, but I was still allowed to eat cookies!) I met my mom for a lunch that wasn't super healthy, and I am pretty sure that I will be eating out for dinner. Tomorrow is Jennifer's Bridal Shower, which means cake. Sometimes I try to make myself skip the cake, but tomorrow I think I deserve it. If I workout in the morning I will reach eight hours this week, and if you can't eat cake and cookies with eight hours of working out, then that's not a life I want to be part of!

Almost Ready

Today's Running Goal: 3 miles in around 34 minutes
Accomplished: 3 miles in 33:32 (11:11 miles)
Excellent! Before the snow falls tonight and winter hits, Brandy met me after work for a quick three mile run. We pushed really hard and accomplished exactly what I wanted and then some. Obviously it was hard, and I was breathing really heavily. But I could probably cut off another minute next week on race day. It's not like I have a side ache (or any ovary pain) I just am panting as hard as I can, and my legs feel like they can't go any faster. Shannon (my running partner on race day) claims she was able to run three miles in 30 minutes this week, although she felt like she was going to pass out. So I think together we should be able to push ourselves. I am really appreciative to Brandy though, because I don't think I would make myself get out there and do this without her.

I had a stressful week at work. I have worked the last seven days in a row, and finally I have a three day weekend. Still, I managed to workout six hours since Monday. I was going to go to Butts n' Guts last night but I decided that I needed a day off, plus with this race training I have been pretty sore the last few weeks. I didn't need even more muscles holding me back. I am finally feeling a little less stressed. I hope to have a nice healthy weekend. If I get to bed now, I can get up early and go to spinning. We'll see. Otherwise, I'll head over to Gold's and run some intervals and lift some weights.

Cool Runnings

Yesterday's Running Goal: 4 miles
Accomplished: 4 miles in 49:08 (12:17 miles)
I wasn't trying to break any speed records last night, I just wanted to get out there and run four miles. I haven't actually done this since early August, in extreme humidity. Last night was anything but humid. It was chilly (48 degrees) and dark and a little windy. But after I got done working ten hours, I met Brandy at my mom's house to run with Hannah. Those 49 minutes dragged on for hours. Even though it was nice to have Brandy to talk to, it seemed like it was never going to end. Still, I wasn't going so fast that I was worn out. My legs were really achy when I got done though, which I think might be a sign of the cold weather, because I don't remember this happening in the summer. The last two times that Brandy and I have run has been less than optimal outdoor weather. So we are certain that we will be fine no matter what the weather is a week from Sunday. Later this week I will try to run another 3 miles extra fast. Tomorrow my goal is to actually register for the race. Then there is no going back.

Tonight Brandy and I tried a new Spinning class ( new teacher for me) at the gym. This lady was fun and spunky but her workout didn't seem as hard. I fell slightly in love with her when she said: you'll burn at least 500 calories in this next 45 minutes with me and that's enough for a large margarita! As always though, it was much better than Kickboxing. I can really feel it in my legs, and I am thinking that I should take some body measurements, so six weeks from now I can tell if my legs are actually slimming down or if it's just my imagination. I didn't have a chance to talk to Brandy about it, but we'll see if she wants to make it our regular Wednesday evening workout.

What's the Point?

Jennifer made a comment on my post yesterday about my frutration with weight loss. She thinks that I am too worried about the number on the scale and not noticing that my clothes fit better and therefore I must be improving. Obviously it is pretty arbitrary that I picked out this weight-goal and I won't stop until I see the scale read that number. Whenever I tell people that I want to lose 10 more pounds they look at me like I am crazy. Often people say: you don't need to lose anymore. I just assume that they are being nice, or that they're jealous; and who are they to decide what I want to do with my body? Still, people say this so often that I sometimes worry that I have become obsessed about that number. And reading back through my blog entries about my ups and downs makes even me think that it's not worth the hassle to get my weight down that low. BUT, it's not like I picked some crazy low number that I want to become; I'm not trying to be 120 pounds. I just want to fall in the healthy range for my height. I just want to have a normal BMI. I just want to be healthy. I would be happy with average. And according to the scale I am not there yet.

On the other hand, Jennifer is right. I wear medium or small shirts at almost all stores. I can fit into a size eight dress and last week I almost bought a pair of size ten jeans (money was the only thing holding me back). That was my ultimate goal in this entire weight loss lifestyle. I can run at speeds and distances that I never thought I would be able to do. I am getting stronger every day. I take classes at the gym all alone which I don't do anywhere else in my life (things alone). I enjoy working out and the feeling that it gives me. I am more confident; I am healthier; I make smarter choices about food or recognize when I don't. Maybe I have suceeded already.

So, what is the point?

After jumping up a few pounds early in the week and staying there, I was not surprised that I had gained a pound this week. I am now back at that 13 pound mark that just loves me so much. The sad fact is, I didn't eat that poorly this week. Sure I had one margarita and some chips. Sure I enjoyed a few Chocolate Chip Cookies at our Saturday evening bookgroup. And yes, I had to buy some mini-halloween treats and ate a few. But I worked out eight hours this week. And this leads to weight gain? My life has become a roller-coaster of emotions regarding weight loss. I lose a few pounds I am happy, then I gain a few and am disappointed. With this wedding just five weeks away, I am thinking of taking drastic measures. The Special K diet? Boring. Starvation? Well I don't want to pass out while dancing. Perhaps good old fashion calorie restriction is the way.

Another great round of spinning tonight. Mixed with some great weight lifting afterward. Makes for a great night of workouts and a great start to the week. Begining tomorrow I am working 9-8 on Tuesdays. So this will be the day that I am most likely to skip a workout. However, now that I am in heavy training mode for my upcoming race, I am hoping to do a little running tomorrow. I am also dog-sitting, and Hannah loves to be my running partner!

Stealing Jen's Workout

Taking a hint from last Sunday's workout with Jen I ran more intervals tonight. My goal was to do the same thing we did last week: run 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes for 24 minutes, plus a three minute warm up and cool down. This week I was on a treadmill and was able to control my speed, plus I wasn't tired from doing another workout prior to this one (although I was tired from working all day). I made sure each running interval was between 9:30 and 10:00 minute miles. It was difficult, and the two minute walk break wasn't ever enough. But I travelled more than two miles in the half hour workout which was pretty good.

I had met my mom at Gold's so we went up to the weight room and did some things. I am planning on going to BodyPower tomorrow, so I didn't want to do lot of weight lifting. But I showed my mom how to do lunges and I did several using a riser. Then I showed her lots of the moves we did last week in Butts n' Guts. So I worked my abs some more. After 30 minutes wasting time upstairs we went home. But it was a good workout to end the week. And it takes my total workouts to eight hours this week, which I haven't accomplished in months. Unfortunately, my weight has only gone up this week, so I have no optimism for my weigh-in tomorrow.

Good Progress

Yesterday's Running Goal: 3 miles

Accomplished: 3 miles in 35:06 (11:42 miles)
This was a difficult workout. It was rainy and windy and 49 degrees outside . Brandy met me for a late afternoon run, for which I am very grateful, because I never would have dragged myself outside alone. She did an excellent job of pushing me hard enough, without dragging me down the street. I actually had to stop for about 30 seconds of walking about half way through, but she made sure that I was right back to it. Even with the walking, and a stop to tie my shoe, and another brief stop to wait for traffic, I finished in 35 minutes. My goal was to do this three miles in less than 36 minutes, less than 35 next week and less than 34 on race day. It was a difficult 35 minutes, so I am not overwhelmed with assurance that next week will be any easier. But I do have a little more confidence that I might be able to do 34-ish minutes next week and 33 by race day. However, I will have to do the last one alone, and I need Brandy's motivation and encouragement to keep pushing myself. I still need to get my 4 mile (long run) scheduled for some day. I think that is key to making the three miles easier.

Also, my abs were in quite a bit of pain while running and afterward. Apparently butts n' guts did really work something. My lunch plans got altered slightly and we ended up eating at the mall. I chose Subway, because that's the best thing I have to control my portions and calories. Dinner was light as well. But I let myself buy mini-candy bars at Target last night and enjoyed at least five of them. But I have been craving chocolate forever. And after that run, I deserved some.

Nothing is Happening

Wednesday evening I attended spinning and BodyPower. Pretty much same-old same-old there. Last night, was my first Thursday off in a long while. I am now switching my ten hour work days to Tuesday, so I will getting off of work at 6:00 on Thursdays from now on. So I started this new lifestyle by taking the Butts n' Guts class. It had previously been taught by Steven, an instructor I didn't care for. Now it is taught by Liz, who is the kickboxing teacher that I don't care for (confused yet?). She was alright for butts n' guts though. She's by no means inspirational, and she doesn't push us super-hard. But my glutes were in some serious pain a few times during the 45 minute session. And today my obliques are a little sore, even though I didn't feel them while it was happening. I could see myself taking this class on a weekly basis. However, I don't want to commit to it so much that I don't allow myself to have a life. Technically Thursdays will be the only weeknight that I am free to do other things, so I must keep it open. Still, if I am just going to go home to sit on my butt, I might as well be working it off first.

The scale jumped a little earlier in the week and has refused to budge. How upsetting. I feel like there is nothing I can do, and that just encourages me to go eat more. For example, I am now off to meet some girlfriends for lunch, and I must make sure to get something healthy, but what I am wanting is chocolate. I even indulged in a Margarita last night, although I split a meal. Maybe that's why the scale isn't moving...

New Trail

Today's Running Goal: 4 miles
Modified Running Goal: 3 miles
Accomplished: 3 miles in 38:04
I made a great pact with myself that I would take my workout clothes to work, change into them at 6:00 there, walk down to the trail that is only two blocks from the library, and run four miles. I would then have time to drive home just in time for The Biggest Loser. Then I got Erin talked into running with me. She wanted to do only three miles since she hasn't run in two months. I figured that since I haven't run three miles in a row in two months either, that was probably plenty. So we did. We did walk about .12 miles right in the middle. And we didn't set any speed records, but we did the workout. My dad, who is by no means an athlete, but calls me three times a week since he has nothing else to do, claims that even though you lose your running skills so incredibly fast, you gain them back just as fast. So I am confident that even though I can only run three miles in 38 minutes, I will be down to 33 or 34 in just a few weeks.

I have never run on that trail next to work. It was beautiful and it was obviously a wonderful evening for an outdoor workout. I really should take advantage of that trail and walk on it during my lunch break. Or take more run opprotunities right after work. Too bad it will be cold soon.

My Salsa Chicken and Black Bean soup was so incredibly good. It had black beans, chicken, broth, salsa, corn and fat free sour cream. Delicious and Nutritious. It was so good that I ate two helpings; still only 500 calories though! And I will have enough left overs for three or four meals.

Not too Shabby

After a great week of weight loss and a weekend of being away from home I was still able to lose three pounds and maintain it throughout the weekend. Being down to 12 pounds to lose in six weeks gives me a lot more optimism. However, I know that there are going to be weeks of no loss. And it seems that all this wedding preparation involves eating un-healthfully. Fortunately, this week truly is a week that I have nothing "official" to do. I will be in my own house all week; eating my own meals, having time to workout. That is the recipe for good weight loss!

Tonight I went to Spinning; I am really starting to enjoy the Monday spinning routine. Nobody showed up for Kickboxing, which makes me feel a little bad for the instructor. But I hope that the gym realizes that Turbo Kick is NOT what we're interested in, and will bring back an instructor that can teach Combat. My knee hurt a little bit again in Spinning, but nothing that I couldn't work through. My thighs were sore from running yesterday and we seemed to concentrate a lot on thighs tonight. But I want to work my legs, and this is the answer. BodyPower seemed pretty easy this evening. I need to get back to using a large on the warm up. That seems to make the entire session seem just a little better.

I was craving Chinese food today, so I decided to make something at home. Chinese food is so fattening and bad for me, so I have to keep myself from indulging. When I want Chinese food, I am not hoping for lots of veggies in a light sauce. I am thinking deep-fried Orange/Sesame/General's Chicken. So I found a recipe for grilled Orange Chicken. It was easy, but didn't fill the craving. I also bought the ingredients for a healthy Salsa Chicken and Black Bean Soup. It will cooking all day in my crockpot tomorrow. I can't wait!

Running With Jen

Amazingly today was only the second time that I have ever had the chance to run with Jen. Once, quite a while ago, we both went to Gold's and ran on the treadmill, but that hardly counted. Today, Jen was in town to work things for Jennifer's wedding, and while she was in town, we took advantage of the workout-partnership. Jen is on a six-week return to running plan. She was technically a day behind. So first we did her Friday run: 1 minute run, 1 minute walk. We ran really fast and I was really proud of us. I think we were doing 9-minute miles at one point. You can go almost all out when you know that it's only gonna last one minute. We finished that day's plan easily and then moved on to her assigned Sunday run. Now realize that we were already a little more tired that we might have been, but this workout was hard. Sunday's goal was: run two minutes, walk two minutes. Again we started running pretty fast. But I soon lost steam; my 9 minute-miles soon turned into 11:30 minute-miles. Still it was a great workout. It was a beautiful day for running and I had great company!

However, each time I run, I grow more and more hesitant of this 31 minute goal that I have set up for myself in just three weeks. Maybe I should just run it for fun and try to do the best I can and not worry about breaking any records. I had to skip my four mile easy run this weekend because I was out of town for 'Aunt and Niece days'. When I stay with my aunt I tend to eat really healthy for most meals (she does let us eat much at all) but then we end up having two desserts later in the night. On Friday morning when I left I had made a great dent on my weight loss for last week (from 15 to 12) but we'll see what I am at tomorrow morning. Besides running with Jen, today was filled with Pizza, breadsticks, brownies and Cheetoes.

Ab-solutely Not

After 2.5 hours of gym time on Monday I felt like a train had rolled over me on Tuesday. Every muscle in my body hurt. But my abs were on fire. You don't realize how much you use your ab muscles until the pain is so excruciating that you decide okay, I don't really need to take a deep breath anymore. It hurts to cough, eat, twist, roll over in bed and walk. So you can imagine how much it hurt to run. But I don't even think that was the reason I failed.

Yesterday's Running Goal: 3 miles in 35 minutes
Accomplished: 3 miles in something like 43 minutes
I have a million excuses. 1) See the above muscle ache complaint. 2) I tripped over something that a customer had left on the floor and my foot really hurt. 3) I forgot how much harder it is to run while watching TV rather than listening to music. 4) I forgot how much more difficult it is to run on a treadmill. 5) I hit the wrong thing on my Ipod about half way through and it stopped timing me. So I didn't know exactly how far I had run or how long it had taken me. 6) I haven't run three miles since early August. 7) I haven't run three miles faster than 5mph since July. So trying to run three miles all of a sudden at 11:40 minute miles was near impossible. The first mile went alright, but then I just sort of fell apart. I took a drink break. Ran a little more. Then I let myself walk a little. Ran a little more. Decided to just finish with uphill walking.

Now I am pretty sure I won't be running ten-minute-miles in four weeks. So do I re-evaluate my training plan and aim for 11 minute miles. But I probably need a week to get into running again, before I load all of this on. I also need someone to push me. I wonder what Brandy is up to. She's training for the Omaha half Marathon right now, but after that is over next Sunday, she might be needing a few 'slow' three mile runs!

The 4 Week Plan

Four weeks from Sunday I want to run a 5k in 31 minutes. Two years ago I ran my first 5k (this same one) in 41:10. What a huge improvement this would be if I could actually pull it off. However, I don't have a lot of time to train. I am going to follow an aggressive plan, and we'll see if it leads to record breaking races. I will run three times a week:

Speed: Run three miles (Week 1 - 35 mins. Week 2 - 33 mins. Week 3 - 32 mins. Week 4 - 31 mins.)

Distance: Run 4 miles at an easy pace

Intervals: Run intervals at 6.0mph (Week 1 - 3/1, Week 2 - 4/1, Week 3 - 5/1, Week 4 - 6/1)

Abs of Steel

I tried something new this evening: Abs class! This class begins right at 5:00 so generally I can't make it when I get off work at 5. I was able to make it today though, so I took the opportunity. It wasn't impossible, but it wasn't easy either. I bet if I took it once a week I would really see improvements. Unfortunately my schedule won't allow that. It might allow me to take the Butts and Gutts class on Thursday evenings though.

After that I went to spinning. As I mentioned last week, I do not like the new Kickboxing class or instructor on Monday night. The Wednesday instructor is better, although it's the same aerobic (jazzersize) type class. I also like the Monday spinning teacher quite a bit. Again, it was a really good class. I was sweating and my legs were burning. My knee had a little tension in it, but didn't really hurt until I started doing squats in BodyPower. Because my legs were so tired I let myself go a little easy on squats. I will need a few weeks to work up to spinning and high leg weights. Overall an excellent evening of 2.5 hours of working out. Hopefully that will get the scale to shift down a little.

Good news: I don't have to work on Oct. 18th, so I am going to register for the Governor's Cup Race around downtown Lincoln and the Capital. My goal is to do the whole 5k in 31 minutes (10 minute miles). That is really lofty though, and I would settle for something like 33 minutes. My training begins tomorrow.

Good Food

Technically I haven't been home for a whole week since the 10th of August. Since then I have been doing a lot of dog-sitting mixed with the week and a half that was grandma's funeral and family time. Finally, I am home again with nothing on the horizon. So it was time I went out and bought some food. I spent an hour at Walmart and came away with only $41 worth of stuff (seven of which was toilet paper). Still, it was all nutrious things like yogurt and fruit and chicken and special K bars. I am ready to get back on the right path tomorrow. And begin my four-week-run-faster 5k plan. More to follow...

I was up celebrating (meaning gambling: the only way Grandma would want us to mourn her death) with my family until 2:30am last night. I rolled out of bed at 10:10 so I could make it to work this morning. I worked until 8:00 and went to the grocery store. Needless to say, I did not workout. But all starts anew tomorrow. Now I must catch up on some sleep!

Even Worse

I was at my mom's house all week but I thought that I was doing fairly well on my eat-healthy plan. And I knew that I was doing better at working out than I had been. But somehow I failed. I am blaming the three times I ate out between Thursday evening and Friday evening. And I will also blame the very decadent dessert I got Friday night at The Blue Orchid just because Shannon always gets dessert and it looks so good. Either way, my weight was up two pounds this week. Now I am looking at fifteen pounds that I want gone in just seven weeks. That's discouraging, and much worse than the thirteen in eight I was facing last week. I need to make a very good effort this week and it needs to start with eating well. I know that I work out well and have got the exercise part of weight-loss under control. It's the healthy eating, and eating out that I need to work on. It's so hard when people put chocolate and chips in front of my face. But sometime I must have known how to say no.

I have decided that I need a new workout goal, so I am going to run the Governor's Cup Race in October. This was the 5k that I did two years ago with Curtis. I have high goals for this time around. First, I will probably be running it alone, unless there are any running buddies out there wanting to sign up with me. Second, I hope to knock about 10 minutes off of my time. I will have to check, but I am pretty sure it took me 41 minutes last time, and I would be so proud of myself if I could do this next one in 31-33 minutes. However, it is just four weeks from tomorrow. No worries though; I am developing a plan. I already know that I can run three miles. And if I went out today and did it I could probably do it in 36 minutes easy. Not too long ago I did it in 32:50. I just need to work on running over and over and over. of course, this all depends on if I have that Sunday off of work. It's too late to ask for it, and too soon to know if I am scheduled. I will begin training anyway.

Changes

I knew that change was coming but I had taken a week and a half off and hadn't realized that the month was half over already. Mary can't make it to the gym by 5:30 so she isn't teaching Kickboxing any more. So now we have two new instructors, Liz on Mondays and Denise on Wednesdays. I guess what I didn't think about is that Mary does BodyCombat. These other people don't. They teach something called TurboKick. I think that you will remember this from my days of taking Kickboxing with Katie. It was alright, but it is very aerobic. It's hard to explain how that is different than Combat, which is very aerobic as well. But I felt like I was in an Aerobics class last night. There were steps to learn, no different songs for different workouts, and Oh-My-Goodness, there were claps. I don't know how much of that I can stand. Combat is about building muscle definition while sweating, and getting out your aggression. Also, the instructor was bad. She was more out of shape than me, and I need an instructor who inspires me, not who takes the low-impact route because she's out of breathe. I am going to give Denise a try tomorrow, and then I may re-evaluate which days I leave work early to workout. There is a Bootcamp class that I have never been able to attend because it's at 5:30 on Tuesday and Thursday. Perhaps I could convince my boss that I need to be off at 5:00 on Thursdays instead of Wednesdays.

BodyPower was very difficult as well. I lowered my weights on a few tracks: squats, triceps and biceps. I knew that it would be hard after taking a week and a half off. But it was really hard. Even with easier weights I was struggling through it all. But as I was lying there during the Chest routine, I was thinking how much better I felt about myself when I was active. All last week I couldn't get my behind off of the couch to workout and that just fueled my non-active lifestyle. I love how powerful exercise is.

Tonight I am watching The Biggest Loser and loving every minute of it. And it encouraged me to stop grazing on the strange snack foods my mom has around her house. And as soon as it is over Hannah and I are going out for a run. I'm posting it here so we actually have to do it.

Unlucky Thirteen

I am getting serious about this now. I was serious about it two weeks ago as well, but then dog-sitting and family deaths put a hijinks in that plan. When I stepped on the scale Saturday morning I was still at 13 pounds. It amazes me that that's the number my body gravitates towards. I can eat a lot of junk or work out a ton, but unlucky thirteen is right where it likes to stay. You might be thinking that this is my "happy-weight"; the place where I can maintain without killing myself. But you are wrong. In fact, I am pretty sure that I have more than 13 pounds to lose, but I won't know until I EVER get to that point. Again, I am dog-sitting for the week, but I am making sure to eat right and workout. I had a granola bar and water for Breakfast. For lunch I met Erin at Subway (always a good place to start) and I am headed to kickboxing and bodypower after work. My mom's house is stocked with fruits and lettuce and grilled chicken, and there seem to be no chips or chocolate in sight -- the perfect combination. The weather should be great as well, which should encourage Hannah and I to take plenty of walks and the occasional run. Jennifer's wedding is just eight weeks away. I might as well use that as my goal to finish. I am serious... here I come.

Back in the Running

I have taken an entire week off from working out. Last Sunday I took my dad's dog, Jeanie running. But since she's not used to it there was a lot of stopping to smell things along the way. So mostly it was just a walk. And it included a time when she stepped on a sticker and I had to pull them out of her paw, while she was trying to limp along, and I thought that I as going to have to carry a 90-pound dog back a mile. Anyway after a week of not working out and a week of eating poorly, I finally got back to it this morning. I am dog-sitting for my mom all week so Hannah and I got up (pretty) early this morning and went for a run/walk. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run for 30 whole minutes, since I haven't run successfully in such a long time. So my goal was to run/walk for 30 minutes one song at a time. I made it 28 minutes before I was home again and decided to stop. But I was still pretty tired. I averaged 15 minute miles, so I must have been going pretty fast both in running and walking. The few times I checked my mph I was going between 10:45 minute-miles and 11:20 minute-miles while running. I still burned slightly over 200 calories, so it was a fine workout. I had planned to go to Gold's later in the day to do some weight-lifting, but then it got later and later, and I plan on taking BodyPower tomorrow and don't need to be sore for that. I guess 30 minutes of exercise is better than none.

Grandma Wouldn't Want Me to Get Fat

I feel like I have been eating non-stop for the last week. Funerals and everything that go with it are depressing. And not being in my normal routine has thrown my eating and workout habits way off. And now I am having trouble (emotionally) getting back to my real life. But I need to remember that my grandmother would not want me to get fat for her. For most of my life my grandma was on a diet. Every summer that I would go up to visit her we would talk about how we were going to lose weight together. Seeing as I was 11, it was probably really sick and wrong! But the woman cared about vanity more than most things: she wouldn't go out of the house without a full application of makeup and designer clothes. So it's no surprise that as soon as she started gaining "grandma-weight" she had a difficult time dealing with it. Since I have recently lost weight, she was always so impressed and encouraged me to keep going. I am very proud of the fact that the last time she went out of the house (besides to the hospital) was the day I ran the Columbus Downtown RunAround, and she wheeled out to cheer me on! I need to get back to it. And that includes throwing away the brownies and muffins that my family sent home with me. And hitting the gym this evening.

Remembering Grandma

Because I was the baby of the family and born at least ten years after all my cousins, I sometimes feel like I missed out on a lot of family memories. I never knew my Grandpa Simpson and I never got to partake in the fun family memories they made while he was around. But I still able to know my Grandma for 29 years. And in the style of one of my favorite children's books: The Tenth Great Thing about Barney, I am going to list 29 things I learned and admired from my grandma!

1) Life is about having fun.

2) Everything tastes better with Chocolate.

3) It's perfectly fine to own two cabins on two different lakes.

4) At the same time you have a house with a pool.

5) Never leave the house without your makeup on.

6) A real woman never dies her hair.

7) But she bleaches her mustache.

8) Your toe nails should ALWAYS be painted.

9) Napping in the afternoon is mandatory.

10) Always wipe the top of your soda can; you don't know where that has been.

11) Marry the man of your dreams.

12) But make sure you have enough girlfriends to get you through the 34 years after he passes away.

13) Always play the same numbers in Keno.

14) If pants don't fit in the size you think you are, find different pants, don't ever change sizes.

15) It's easier to go to bed if you have a snack first.

16) Two words: Shag carpet!

17) Make sure to have a drink in your hands whenever a photo is taken of you.

18) Being a Rollerskating Princess in your teens is a pretty cool legacy.

19) Always keep bread by the door for the ducks.

20) Everybody loves cash for Christmas.

21) And their birthdays.

22) Call your best friend every morning at 10:30.

23) Don't touch the windows with your hands, they're a bitch to clean.

24) There something to learn by reading People, Us Weekly and In Touch every week.

25) Every penny counts.

26) Don't be afraid to beat your ten-year-old granddaughter in Gin Rummy, she'll never learn the value of winning otherwise.

27) People are impressed with a clean house.

28) When it's windy, wear a scarf over your hair.

29) Always eat Dessert first!

Ugh

This week is a prime example of how not having to work does not equate more time left over for working out. I ran once with Jeanie on Sunday. Then I was home Monday and Tuesday and didn't workout or go to the gym once. I am heading out of town soon, and won't be making it the gym this morning. As I go more and more days without working out it makes it harder and harder to make it a priority. And as I spend more and more time away away from the gym, I eat worse and worse. I have only gained two pounds which is impressive with the amount of junk food I feel like I have eaten since Friday. I have this "the viewing" tonight and will not be home in time to workout (unless I could get my dad to go for a walk with me, but that is a 0% chance). Tomorrow morning is the funeral; we have to be there at 9:00, and about eight of us have to get ready in the same house. So unless I get up at 5am, I probably won't get a workout in. I have no idea how the day will go. I assume after the funeral there will be a lot of relatives at my dad's house and excusing myself to go for a run might not be the most tasteful. These are relatives that I have not seen in at least eight years.

I talked to Jen last night. She is back from her Honeymoon and is now on her lose-the-wedding-weight-diet. Once this funeral/family crisis is over I will have to go on one of those.

Bad News

I received some bad news on Friday afternoon: my grandmother passed away. So that derailed my workout plans for Friday evening. I spent the time trying to find something black to wear to the funeral. And when that didn't work out I turned to some really bad food to comfort me: Qdoba. I made sure to get up this morning and get a workout in. I did 30 minutes on the Elliptical and then headed up to the weight room. I did about 4 arm-exercises (of 7) and then got pretty tired of waiting for all the new people ahead of me trying to figure out the machines, so I left. I guess that's better than nothing. I did get nine inches of my hair cut off today. It still falls right below my shoulders. How did it ever get that long. If only it was heavier, and would make some difference in the scale.

Today I am headed up to my dad's to be with my family and help him buy a suit. I am sure that there will be a lot of food that people feel we need to eat when there is a death in the family. But I am taking my running shoes and hoping to sneak out a few times to take my dad's dog for a run. We'll both need the break. Spending five days with my family could cause a mental breakdown; even more than a death.

Fair Weather

Tuesday evening I ate more than I had planned at the State Fair. And somewhere along the line I need to remind myself that losing weight is about sacrifices and making smart decisions. It is not about allowing myself to have treats because I am celebrating something, or because I deserved them. So although I told myself that I could splurge on the corn dog (and a third of it ended up falling on the ground) I also let myself have half the platter of spiral-potatoes-dripping-in-fat and half of a caramel apple (but hey, it's fruit!). Along with a glass of wine, since we were in the beer and wine pavilion listening to music. I did a lot of walking though, not fast enough to count as exercise, but more than I do when I am sitting on my couch eating potato chips and hot dogs and apples and drinking wine!

Wednesday, because of circumstances beyond my control, I had to miss Kickboxing. I was feeling discouraged and wanted to skip bodypower as well when I remembered that Brandy was scheduled to be joining me for Wednesday classes again. I'm glad I made myself go because it was a really good class. Mary was gone and we had a substitute; Katie, the old Kickboxing instructor. I always love to have subs because they make me think about things I'm not use to, and they often mix up the music. I finally remembered to increase my warm-up weight to a large. I have been wanting to do this for a while, but sickness, and vacations and just plain forgetting have kept me from doing so. The only thing I had trouble getting through was the bicep warm-up. I can't even do sixteen bicep curls with the large. Maybe someday. I think it made the rest of my workout seem easy, which was a nice addition, and hopefully the result will be that I can increase my weights faster.

I went home and took Hannah for a run. Unfortunately, the trail we normally ran in last spring had grown over with large weeds and grasses. We ran for 15 minutes, and then turned around and walked home. It was getting to dark to be tripping over branches and breaking my neck. I had wanted to get up and run another half-an-hour this morning but it was rainy and miserable. We slept in instead.

Falling Weight Ahead

I knew that I had a bad weekend, and hadn't been doing a lot of healthy things for myself. So I was prepared when I got on the scale this morning at it read: 13 pounds to lose. I wasn't happy about it, but I was okay with it. Now I just need to get back on track. I am committed to limiting my calories, working out a ton, and getting these last thirteen pounds off of my body. I am going to Kickboxing and BodyPower this evening; that will be a great start to the week. Unfortunately, I am dog-sitting this week, which never helps me plan my meals, or assures my healthy eating habits. Also, I am going to the State Fair on Tuesday and have promised myself a corn dog. But one corn dog won't derail my work. It's four weeks of chaos that does that!

Jen's Wedding Weekend

I took Friday off and had a three day weekend because of Jen and Don's wedding. We had a great time and it was a wonderful wedding. Unfortunately I did nothing healthy for myself with those three days off. Friday I actually was feeling back to normal after my cold and I did make it to the gym for an hour. I used the elliptical machine for 30 minutes and then lifted weights for 30 minutes. But Friday night at the Rehearsal Dinner I ate a lot of chips and gaucamole and cake and M&Ms. I had once had hopes of getting up early on Saturday day morning to workout, but that didn't happen. We had to be in Omaha by 10am to get our hairs done, and after that, even though there was lots of downtime, working out was out of the question. Like I said, the wedding was wonderful and I probably burned some calories during the three-hour dance session I participated in. I didn't get to each much food during the event, but I made up for it with several glasses of wine. I didn't sleep well in the hotel this morning and woke up feeling like crap. I ate some pasteries and other bad-for-me foods this morning at brunch and then felt ill the rest of the day. I never made it to workout today either. But I did end the weekend with a healthy Sub sandwich.

I managed to eat very well last week and got my weight down to the 8 or 9 pound mark as of Friday morning. We'll see where I am tomorrow. I am going to get serious about this final weight loss. I need to buy new Fall clothes (at least a pair of jeans) and I would really like it to be in a smaller size. Currently nothing smaller fits, but my own jeans are too stretched out and large to keep up without a belt.

As exhausting as it was, I am so happy to have celebrated with Jen and Don. I hope they have a long and healthy life together. And as soon as Jen gets back from her Honeymoon I hope that she can get back to working out and inspiring me to work harder.

Finally It has Happened to Me

I had planned on going to Kickboxing this evening; at least attempting to get back at it after the cold-debacle. But then Erin wanted to go to Spinning class. Well, I should rephrase that: Erin had planned on working out anyway, but didn't have her MP3 player, so I suggested we go to Spinning instead. My goal was to raise and push back my seat so that my leg would be able to stretch out better. It worked... for thirty minutes, then the pain started up again. But the best part was that I actually got a great workout. I was breathing heavily, I was sweating, my legs were burning. It was excellent. I think I have figured out the tension mechanism. The teacher was really good too. Although Erin hated her (she yelled some) but that's just the push I need. Sure I hated it when she was telling me to pedal faster, but I did and my legs will thank her for it. Even though my knee hurt I made myself use heavy weight for squats. I mean if it is going to hurt anyway, I might as well be working my quads more. And I did lunges on the step. I'm going to have great legs just in time for pants and long underwear weather!

Is Anybody There?

So it has been two weeks since anyone has even commented on my blog. I understand that Jen is super busy planning her wedding so she is excused. But where is everybody else. Does anyone even read this blog anymore. And if not, what do I keep writing it for? I guess myself. And that will have to be good enough. I do love to be able to look back a year from today and see how far I have come (or not come for that matter).

Today I wore my heels for Jen's wedding most of the day (well maybe six hours) because I have been trying to break them in. I feel like I got quite a workout. Not only were my calves being worked all day, it seemed like walking in general was so much more difficult. I think I might have just found a super-fashionable leg-sculpting exercise. I took the evening off from working out. I had to go to my mom's house and I ended up staying there for a while. I didn't have my running shoes with me so I couldn't even take Hannah for a walk. That's okay. I think my body needs one more day to recover from this illness.

Catch-22

I had great intentions of eating healthy all weekend and working out tons, and then I woke up Friday with a cold. The cold did not get any better all weekend. And being sick makes me not want to work out and only want to eat comfort food: like McDonald's, cookies and chocolate. I woke up feeling slightly better this morning so I went to work (like I really had a choice) and made it through the day. However, when it came time to go to Kickboxing tonight I knew that I wouldn't be able to make it. So I took a nap in my car for that hour, so I could make it to BodyPower. I had saved up enough energy to make it through that class while keeping my weights high. But it was a lot more difficult than normal. As soon as I am feeling better I am going to attempt going up to a large during the warm up. If I can add just a little weight to that, I might be able to build all those muscles a little faster. I ate fairly healthy today, making sure that I understood that I could not eat Macaroni and Cheese, and perhaps I would feel better if I just ate some real nutrients. I just want to feel better. It's a catch-22 because if I felt better I could eat better and workout more, and if I ate better and worked out more I would probably not feel so crappy.

Guess Who's Back

That might be an exaggeration, but I got Jennifer to go to BodyPower with me this morning. I am sure that it has been at least a month since she has gone (my half birthday?). You know she does have a wedding to get ready for. Since Jennifer went to lift weights with me again, I thought I'd put the special weight lifting image on the blog today. Speaking of weddings, Jen's is just one week away. And I have to say: I am impressed with the status of my shoulders. However, as I try on the dress for her wedding, I realize that my shoulders don't show as much as my biceps and triceps, which I am not as impressed with. And even though I will never have nice legs, the heels I have chosen to wear will accentuate the small calf muscle that I have developed.

This morning my scale played a trick on me. I awoke about 8:20 and weighed myself, same as yesterday. Then I read a book for a while, took some medicine, laid in bed (remember I have a cold) and then before I got dressed to go to the gym, I weighed myself again (remember I have an obsession) and it spiked four pounds. Four. Pounds. My only guess is that is the phloem that has been produced by my head. I'm going to pretend it did happen, and worry about what the scale says tomorrow. I ate alright today, nothing super healthy, but not a ton of crap either. Now I am in this waiting pattern to beat this cold and get out there and work out again.

The Power of Erin and my Corolla

Remember less than 24 hours ago when I updated my blog with how healthy I had eaten on Thursday and how I had hoped to get up early and workout on Friday. Oh how things change. Yesterday was a long day at work. First my boss called in sick, which left some of us to work several hours alone during the day (nobody's favorite way to spend the day). My new leaf of eating healthy had left me starving by 7:00, so when Erin suggested we go get Margaritas after work, it was impossible to say no. She claims she doesn't want to be blamed for it, but it was all her fault. She has to know I have no willpower.

Then this morning I woke up with a cold. My head feels like it is going to explode. My eyes are burning and my ears are plugged. It's hard to work all day like this, although not impossible (someone should inform my boss). So I didn't get up and work out. For lunch I really needed a soda -- if Tylenol Cold and Sinus doesn't fix you, Diet Pepsi will! So instead of heading home to eat something healthy I went to Subway. The parking lot was so full I couldn't even get in the driveway. I was in no mood to put up with congestion and long lines. Next thing I know my car is taking me to McDonald's. It seemed to think that French fries would perk up the rest of my day. It was right; it knows me so well. Tomorrow I will start eating better. I promise!

Turning Corners

The most stressful part of my nine pound weight gain was that I didn't eat anything super-un-healthy. I just didn't watch was I was eating. I did make a cake and cookies once, but I shared them with a lot of people. I did celebrate Jen's Bachelorette Party with a lot of eating and drinking, but that was only one night. Besides that I ate as usual. And I worked out a little less. But it scares me that I can gain weight that fast without even trying. I like to think I could eat chips and cookies for every meal if I wanted to gain four pounds a week. Mathematically speaking, in order to gain four pounds, I would have to eat an extra 2000 calories a day (more than twice what I am "allowed" to eat.) I don't know, maybe that's possible with cake around my house. But doubtful.

But enough about that. I got back on track last night with Kickboxing and BodyPower. Kickboxing was hard and intense, and I sweat a lot. I went high on all my weights in BodyPower and even considered adding a little to my chest, back and shoulders. I think that adding smalls to the bars and taking them off at break time is the way to go. I had plans to eat out with Jennifer and we tried to keep it (relatively) healthy. I even took Hannah on a short walk while I was waiting for Jennifer to come to my mom's side of town (did I mention that I was dog-sitting). I had hoped to wake up early this morning and take her for a long walk again, but we slept in instead. I have eaten healthy today again and will again for dinner. I feel like I have turned a corner and am back on track. Now I just need to get back into some sort of running routine and figure out this thing with my knee.

Large Gains

I am a slacker. A blogging slacker, a healthy eating slacker and a workout slacker. It has been two and a half weeks since my Challenge with Curtis ended (remember I was down to three pounds). I am now back up to twelve. That is a nine pound gain in just two weeks. Over four pounds a week. If I continue at this rate I will be able to erase all the hard work that I have done over the last two years by the time Jennifer's wedding comes around. It must stop here. It's not that I haven't been working out. I just haven't been doing a lot of intense work, nor have I been getting my seven to eight hours of exercise in. I have had to work a few strange shifts and missed a BodyPower or two. But for the most part I have just been a slacker. I haven't worried about what I was eating and therefore let myself put whatever I wanted into my mouth. I have made six new recipes in the last two weeks (yay for my other goals!) but they haven't been healthy. The worst is my self-esteem. I can't believe that I have let this happen. I feel like my clothes aren't fitting the way they should and I feel like I can never buy new pants because I can never get to the next lower size. I have to take control.

Monday I tried Spinning again. Sure it worked my legs, but I wasn't sweating and I didn't really feel winded. I might try it one more time and take my heart rate monitor along. I know I don't have to be exhausted to get a good workout, but I just don't feel like I am working hard at all. Also, it really bothered my knee. I had to go light on squat-weights during BodyPower and it was difficult to do lunges. It appears to be fine 24 hours later (which makes me wonder if it is a muscle I am working or a ligament I am hurting). So when I do spinning I want to make sure I don't have to lift weights afterward. Sunday morning class here I come! I also want to try some position changes (like raising my seat) to see if that helps. Tonight I am going to Kickboxing again. That will be a great jump start to re-rev my metabolism.

I know those nine pounds are just temporary pounds. They're like a check engine light warning me to take action. But I can't put it off. I need to get back on track. And that means blogging more too!

Disappointments All Around

• Erin texted to say that she wouldn't be meeting me at spinning. Hey, she wasn't feeling well, so I don't blame her. Still a disappointment.
• I made myself go to the class anyway, ALONE.
• There was a note on the door of the gym that Spinning class is cancelled today. So I went with the backup plan: kickboxing.
• Steven announced that Mary was going to be late again, and he would warm us up.
• He did a bunch of stupid things that none of us were used to.
• And he corrected our form... on the warm up. How can I be toe tapping wrong?
• Mary still wasn't there after 15 minutes.
• Steven pretended to do Kickboxing, but he has the wrong music and the wrong moves and it was worthless.
• Mary still wasn't there after 20 minutes.
• Steven makes us go into the gym and run laps.
• For a long time.
• Mary still isn't there after 30 minutes.
• Steven (who teaches butts and guts) has us do these ass-toners on the exercise ball. It burns a lot. Wait, maybe that isn't a disappointment!
• Mary still isn't there after 35 minutes.
• Steven doesn't know what else to do with us. So we all agree to go do our own cardio on the machines.
• I do 15 minutes of biking on my own. I am sweating, but only because Goodyear has no air-conditioning.
• I go back in at 6:15 to set up for Body Power and Mary still isn't there. I contemplate leaving, because I don't want to waste another hour of my life.
• Finally Mary walks in at the last second. Relief all around. I push myself extra hard in BodyPower because I am not worn out from the first class, and because I will not be able to make it on Wednesday. I do all of my maximum weights and lunges on the bench! Only a disappointment to my muscles.
• All while Jennifer and Hannah are shopping and eating at La Paz without me. What I sacrifice for fitness!

No Time to Blog

I have been busy this weekend and have neglected my blog and pretty much all aspirations of working out. I have Friday off from work, and met Brandy at 7:30am to run. I hadn't done any real running since our Columbus race almost two weeks ago. My goal was to do four miles with her. But the humidity and my exhaustion was too much. I had to take just a couple walk breaks and we ended up quitting around 3.3 miles. Next week we'll try for more; if she'll keep running with me that is. Then I spent all day Friday in Omaha helping Jen make Wedding mints. There was a lot of snacking and mint tasting. We ate an unhealthy Mexican dinner and indulged in candy at a movie later. Not good.

Saturday and Sunday I worked. Both days I had high hopes of working out. I meant to ride my bike to work on Saturday, but I realized that I needed to run some "work-errands" and would need my car to get from location to location. Then I was to tired when I got off of work to actually go to the gym as I had planned. I took a nap from 7:00-8:00 and then went to bed at 11:00. Sunday morning I told myself that I would get up early and go for a run. I did get up, but just as I was about to head out the door, it started pouring rain. I didn't really want to go anyway. I stayed home and read a book instead. I ate really poorly all weekend too. What is wrong with me?

Now it's Monday and I am starting fresh. I am about to go to the grocery store and get some healthy things to cook this week. I have today off and took a four-day vacation later this week. I should be able to get back on track with my eating and my working out. I'm trying spinning again tonight followed by my all-time favorite: BodyPower. I am taking Tuesday evening off to have a little dinner party (and celebrate summer). Wednesday I have go to a Saltdogs game for work, so I will be missing all classes. I will try to make it to the gym in the afternoon, when I don't have to work. Then my four day vacation starts. Besides a lot of indulging at Jen's bachelorette party on Saturday, I am going to keep on track. I think I noticed that my pants were feeling tight yesterday. I can't let that go on!