Bad Sleep Patterns

For the last week or so I have been sleeping terribly. Most nights I have trouble falling asleep. Other nights I am so exhausted that I pass out, but wake up a few hours later and can't get back to sleep. I know it is stress from work. Friday was the big Kick-Off party for Summer Reading. That threw me off all week. Then this morning I had to be up at 5:00am to get ready and take Jennifer to the airport up in Omaha. Later this morning I had a family brunch in Omaha. Finally when I got home around 4:00 this afternoon I laid down for a little nap, after all, the stress in my life should finally all be over. Needless to say, I woke up five hours later. A five hour nap? Obviously my body needed it, but now it's 11:30pm and I am not sure that I will be able to go to sleep again soon. I have really thrown off my sleep patterns. And I didn't make it to the gym this afternoon as I had planned. Tomorrow I will start well rested and stress-free.

I was sort of excited about my family brunch this morning. It was at a swanky hotel that my rich great aunt and uncle had rented out, so I thought that it would be all glamorous. I imagined large bowls of fruit and pastries. Turns out it was just eggs and bacon and hash browns, nothing healthy to choose from. I did get to try a Mimosa (champagne and OJ). I have always wanted to try one, but it was nothing special.

New Goals

Today begins my Countdown to my High School Reunion. I have ten weeks. It's not that I really care what I weigh when I go to the reunion, it's just more that I want to lose these last pounds and my reunion gives me a goal point. Generally, Thursday is my lowest weight of the week. Not today though; I have 17 pounds left to lose. Therefore I am going to need to keep up the 1.5ish pound-loss every week. I honestly can't do any better than I have been doing. I can't starve myself, and I can't workout more than seven hours per week. I could stop eating out. I know that is what wrecks my food plan. But for the most part, I am going to keep on keepin' on.

This week has not been good for me. I am super-stressed. I hardly sleep at all. Summer Reading begins tomorrow. This is the busiest time of year for me. In fact, preparing for Summer Reading is way more stressful than the actual program. Once it starts, it's just two months of chaos and then it's over. This week is the time where I have to make sure everything runs smoothly and there are a bazillion things that could go wrong. So needless to say, with all this stress and lack of sleep, I haven't had a lot of time to workout. On top of all of that, my Uncle (from California) is in town visiting (for our family gathering this weekend). So any time I am not working or trying to sleep, he wants to see me. And seeing me usually involves food. Last night we went to Valentino's on my dinner break. Name two healthy things you can get at Valentino's! Yeah, didn't think so. This morning we are going to a coffee house to get brunch. We'll see if I can find something healthy.

I did make it to 6am BodyPump yesterday morning. That's the only time of day that I am free -- and in general awake thinking anyway. So that was good! I should still be able to get seven hours in this week, even though I am taking Thursday and Friday off.

Working out or just Working?

Running Goal: Run one mile in 11:06 (a 5.4 pace)
What I did: Ran one mile in 10:48
Ease/Difficulties: Hard but manageable. I ran the whole thing at the 5.4 mph pace and then took it up the last two minutes just to finish faster. Maybe it would be better for me to take it slow and steady. I mean after all, even sprinting for two minutes only saved me 18 seconds. And the two minute sprint generally leaves me gasping for air. Then I am so tired from running that I can't do much else. I developed a blister on my toe from Combat -- I must be doing the footwork right now. I was worried it might impact my running, but it did not.

So the intensity of my workout today was pretty low. I had eleven minutes of a good workout and then 19 minutes of walking before and after that (slowly). Then I rode the bike for thirty minutes this afternoon, which isn't really too difficult, but I was sweating some and my leg muscles were aching. I wish that I could Combat more than once a week. It has the perfect mixture of intensities. Just when you are dying and thinking you can't go on anymore, they take your heartbeat down so you can catch your breath. But then it's up again and as soon as you begin to think Is this ever going to end, it's over! Compared to that, all my other cardio workouts suck!

Today I had to sneak my workout in between working a few hours this morning (doing Storytime) and working some hours this afternoon/evening (training middle school students to be volunteers this summer). As I was running I was going over my speech/explanation to the volunteers. How's that for multitasking? I just wish I could count that workout as work time!

1 week till Summer

Today will be my last Monday morning weigh in. My 17 week, Summer's coming plan is over. This morning I weighed in at 14 pounds from goal. That is a 4 pound loss from last week, but not exactly where I wanted to be when I began. I knew they were lofty goals though: always staying at 1200 calories, going to the gym seven hours a week, losing two pounds each week. So I can't say I am disappointed in myself. Only that more miracles didn't occur along the way. I can't be upset right, I did lose 20 pounds in the 16 week journey! Beginning Thursday I am going to start a new fitness plan. It will be very similar to the last one. But, I enjoy weighing in on Thursdays more. And it will be only a 10 week plan, entitled: Countdown to my High School Reunion. I have ten weeks, and approximately 14 pounds to lose. I also have to get a smashing haircut and a kick ass outfit, but that goes without saying!

Because today was a holiday, and class schedules are all different, and because my work schedule this week is completely crazy, I went to BodyPump this morning. Lately, everyone's been playing new (or old) songs that I don't know. I don't enjoy that as much. I have my favorites, and I prefer if they stick to those. I have done calf raises the last two sessions I went to, which I think is an important part of any lunge track. I secretly think that the calf raises I have been doing every day at my house are beginning to pay off, but I can't measure again until June! Backtrack was super-hard today. How many clean and presses can you do in one song? And I went light on Biceps because I knew I would be working my arms more later.

Then in a completely crazy: I-have-today-off-and-then-absolutely-no-free-time-this-week way, I stuck around for Combat. I was a little worried because it wasn't my normal time of day to go. But Brandy joined me, which was great, and we had our regular instructors, so all was good. I am definitely understanding it more. I can't say that taking Combat after Pump was any more difficult that taking it after a nine hour work day. The problem today was the 300% humidity in the room. But at least we were all dripping with sweat, so it wasn't just me. Some girl who I went to high school with and have never spoken to a day in my life, told me that I looked good. I thought to myself Do I really look that much different than I did in high school? The truth is, I probably have more muscles now, which make me look better, even if I do weigh the same. I didn't talk to her long because she was taking up my precious water break!

It feels great to have two hours done for the week on the first day. It sets me up nicely for my crazy-busy, summer-reading's-starting, split-shift-working, extended-family's-in-town-for-a-reunion week. Ready of not, here I come!

All About the Legs

First I spent almost three hours laying out in the sun this afternoon to make sure my legs actually saw some sun before summer begins. It was incredibly hot and humid, but the great thing about our townhouses is that at around 2:00 the sun is only in half of the backyard. Therefore, my face and body can be in the shade while my legs are still soaking up some rays. After ensuring that my calves will look great from the outside-in, I headed to the gym where I ensured that they look great from the inside-out.

Running Goal: Run two miles in 25:30 (a 4.9 pace)
What I did: Ran two miles in 25:45
Ease/Difficulties: Very difficult. I ran the first mile with no problem, but at about 1.5 I was having so much pain and breathing so hard, I just had to take a break. I thought about stopping but then I would have to attempt the two mile run again. So I let myself walk for about two minutes. I knew it was going to mean super-fast running the last few minutes. I sprinted for two minutes after my walking break, but it just wasn't enough. It took me an extra 15 seconds. I really should make myself do it again, since technically I wasn't successful. But instead, I think I will just move forward with the plan as is. I could blame the extreme humidity in the gym, but actually it wasn't too bad, considering how miserable it was outside. I may have been dehydrated from sitting outside for three hours, but who cares what the reason was... it was hard! But my legs sure will be thanking me.

One Mile = Fast

Running Goal: Run one mile in 11:20 (a 5.3 pace)
What I did: Ran one mile in 11:10
Ease/Difficulties: Very Difficult. I had to take two ten-second breaks to get a drink of water. I finished faster than I had planned because I sprinted the last minute hoping it would end sooner. Most of the time I was saying to myself: what were you thinking? You can't run this fast. But now that I am done, it's a great feeling. Next week's 11:06 pace will be manageable. Besides, I did today's run after taking BodyPump, where I had already worked my legs to exhaustion! The Nike Plus website hasn't been working for me the last three times I tried it. I sure would like to chart my runs, now that I am doing them again.

My New Running Plan

As I mentioned on Wednesday: I have a new running plan. This is my goal: I want to be able to run one mile in ten minutes. I want to run two miles in twenty-two minutes (eleven minute miles). I am giving myself five weeks. I have devised a plan into a cute little chart (you know me and charts) but for some reason I can't import it into my blog. And it doesn't look as impressive if I just list my objectives. Basically here is how it will work... I will run three times per week. I will never have to run more than 25 minutes, so it leaves plenty of time for other things like the elliptical and stairclimber. There will be two parts to my plan, which I will alternate every other running session. I will work on speed by increasing my one mile run little by little starting at 12 minutes and working up to 10 minutes. I will increase my long distance speed (two miles is long enough for me) by increasing that starting at 25 minutes and working up to (or down to) 22. I will (of course) keep you posted!

Yesterday I made it to my last Thursday evening BodyPump class. I will begin working Thursday nights starting next week, so I won't be able to make it all summer. I am still thinking about ways to make three sessions a week. I am also contemplating hitting the actual weight room. I haven't tried that since before my BodyPump streak. I've never been able to work my muscles to fatigue with the machine weights, but things might be different now.

Should I stay or should I go now?

So I am at work right now. And I am thinking about going to the gym this evening. I have been really tired lately, so I told myself I could sleep in this morning and take the day off from the gym. However, I am thinking that I would like to start working on some running goals, and goals of any kind get me kind of fired up and excited. I would have to go home to change clothes after work; that always brings me down. I am kind of hungry too, because I had to take my dinner break at 3:30. I have also made a habit of going grocery shopping every Wednesday night after work. That habit has kept me with plentiful cupboards and fresh fruit, but also has me spending way more on groceries than ever before. So pros: more calories burned, less eating done, better legs for summer shorts, something to do this evening besides sit on my bed watching television until I fall asleep. Cons: I have to go home to change, I will want to eat something, but really there are no cons, just lack of motivation. I mean, I might as well be watching TV at the gym right and they have cable. I still have an hour to decide or talk myself out of it, I mean into it.

So on to my new running goals... Last year at about this time I had worked up to being able to run 2 miles straight for the first time in my life. It took me almost a half an hour, but I was just so proud to be able to do it. Since I have been working on speed all winter (and by working on I mean like once a week when I decide to do a little running) I haven't run more than a mile at a time. Tonight I am going to try to run two miles again, as slow as I need to go. We'll see if I can do that. From there I will make some goals for the month of June!

UPDATE: I went to the gym! I ran two miles! It took me almost 25 minutes, which is fine. That's somewhere between a 12 and 13 minute mile. Now I will devise a plan where I can run those 2 miles in 22 minutes. I'm just so impressed I went. Now I need to get to doing my 5 minutes of hovering and calf raises.

Open Wide

Yuck! Today I had a dentist appointment. There are very few things that I fear more than visiting the dentist. They poke and prod and hurt me for well over an hour. There is something about sharp pointy devices heading straight for my mouth that makes me shudder. And then they yell at me. Luckily this time the didn't mention my gums or heart disease and death at all. So really it was a good day. They told me I have have have to get my wisdom teeth out before I see them again. And then they acted like it was no big deal; like they would just pop out in two seconds. I told them: "Easy for you to say, you don't have a dental phobia!" That shut them right up. Other than that, they told me I had beautiful teeth. I promised myself that I would reward myself with something great after my appointment. (I have rescheduled three times in the last two months, because the fear was taking over.) Jennifer said I should come over and get ice cream at the Dairy Store near her lab, but that was too many calories. I thought about going shoe shopping, because that's just about my favorite thing in the world to do, but I have spent all my money in the last week. So instead, I went to Walgreen's and bought some stuff to give myself a home pedicure. That is what I did this afternoon. I have wanted this Sally Hansen foot-buffing ring for some time now; so I splurged and bought one of those. My feet are very smooth right now. Then I bought some new polish and painted them a nice spring shade. What I nice way to spend a beautiful spring afternoon: burning up some sick leave (because of the mental anguish of going to the dentist) and getting an at-home-pedicure!


This evening I will get to the gym. First I will go at 5:45 to get a little cardio in before BodyPump. Has anyone noticed how much more difficult squats are after you have walked uphill for thirty minutes? Then Erin, Jennifer and I will hit the weights. Next, I told Brandy that I would stay after Pump to get another half an hour in. So I will get two full hours done this evening.

At work this morning Erin was reading to me from a new book called The No-Cardio Diet (or something like that). Apparently the hormones used to do cardio counter-act with the one used to do weight training. And since we all agree now that weight training burns a lot of calories plus has all those lean muscle benefits, that is all the author believes you need to do. What if I took the entire month of June off from cardio and did like 5 hours of weight-lifting a week. I wonder what would happen. We didn't finish the book this morning, so it may have some twist ending like: oh yeah, it takes 7 years to lose any weight. Just something to think about.

2 weeks till Summer

Crap, crap, crap! That's what I ate this weekend. And it showed up this morning. I gained two pounds this week. So I am back to 18 pounds to lose. It's gonna be hard to cram that into the next two weeks! Obviously, I was celebrating Jennifer's birthday and that's what did me in. Saturday evening I drank at least 1000 calories. That's almost an entire extra day. It's really hard for me to believe that I used to do this once a week. No wonder I ended up with so much weight to lose. Sometimes after I have a gain-ing week, I have a large loss the next week. I can only hope that will be true for this week.

Tonight I made it to my fifth Combat class. We had a substitute teacher. Some chick named Heather, who was hard-core with intense energy. Brandy joined Erin and I for the madness. It was great. I burn soooo many calories. I think that I am either a) finally getting better or b) getting used to looking like a fool and not caring about it so much or c) more confident when Ryan isn't teaching. I like to think that A is the right answer. Beginning June 1st my evening work schedule will change. I will no longer be able to work Wednesday evenings, which means that I had to choose between working Thursday night (and miss my 2nd pump of the week) or Monday night (and miss my combat class). I am more and more happy that I chose to work Thursday nights. I will have to do some re-arranging if I want to get three pumps in. Or I might try to work with the weight machines once a week.

Yesterday I took measurements of my calves and my waist. Beginning today I am going to spend five minutes each day working on calf-raises and the hover. I want to improve my hover ability, and the look of my calves. We'll see if five minutes everyday makes a difference a month from now. It's super-easy to get the calf raises in while you're brushing your teeth twice a day. It's a little difficult to brush and hover though. I also want to work on some running goals again. Yesterday I ran two miles with my mom's dog. I run so slowly, that she just has to trot along. But for 3 blocks I made us sprint; even she was exhausted when we got home!

Happy Birthday Jeffy!

Today is Jennifer's birthday. We started her 28th year (wait, is this her 29th year?) by making it to morning BodyPump. I even got her to increase her tricep weight because a) I know she can be stronger than ever in this next year and b) I knew it was a semi-easy song (Sexy Back), so it would be a perfect time to increase. In fact, I thought about moving up to a large just this once, but I was more worried about Jeffy. She powered through it like the superstar she is! After class she took off to do some fun birthday things with Ryan, while I readied for a busy day. I will be spending the afternoon making hungry girl Chocolate Cupcakes. I am hoping to get a cardio workout in this afternoon, just to beautify my calves for any skirt/capris I might be wearing this evening. I want to do a little shopping at the mall; I have become a bit of a shop-a-holic once again. I also need to get to the grocery store to get some yummy drink ingredients. Then tonight we will go out to dinner for Jennifer's birthday and enjoy a little mini-golf. Then back to her house to sample the cupcakes and fruity drinks! What a way to celebrate!

I have made it to three BodyPumps this week. If I get that hour of cardio in today, I will be done with my seven hours. I will probably hit the gym again tomorrow -- making a total of eight hours this week. What can I say? I have had a good gym schedule this week. That doesn't even count the heavy amount of work I did Friday. I have a huge project that I am calling The Bethany Picture Book Revival. It involved me sorting through thousands of books and lifting/boxing hundreds of them. It also required me to squat several times over the duration of several hours (because picture books are on the floor). The scale doesn't seem to be noticing all this hard work I have put in this week. Tonight probably won't help either. Although, the cupcakes I am making for Jennifer's gathering only have 100 calories per full-sized cupcake. I hope they don't taste like dirt!

UPDATE: The cupcakes are really good, but I didn't get any cardio done this afternoon. I went shopping and bought some stuff, much of which is a size smaller!! I'll have to try not to drink too many yummy beverages!

Shopping as Exercise

This afternoon on my lunch break I stopped by Kohls. They were having a huge Grand Re-Opening Sale but only from 8-1. I got some great things, seeing as how nothing (and I do mean nothing) I used to own fits. Scariest of all... I bought a swim-suit. I was all alone and in a hurry and the sale was very large and I just bought. Now I am second guessing myself. But here's a question I want to pose: have you been swim-suit shopping this year? And what is up with the bottoms? Everything I find has shorts. And not just boy-short styles, but like boy-trunks. It's the swim-suit makers answer to the growing obesity rates in America. Well, as much as I absolutely hate (and I do mean hate) my thighs, I do not want to wear shorts with a swim-suit top. I don't want to lay-out in that. I don't want to go swimming in that. It is very rare to find actual bikini bottoms. Obviously you can get around this problem by wearing a one-piece suit, but I am pretty partial to the tankini look. I bought one with a white top that has blue and brown (and pink?) polka-dots on it, then the bikini bottoms are brown with a white tie that matches the top. It's cute, but I feel I bought in a hurry. I might take it back. What to do, what to do.

Tonight I will be going to BodyPump. Perhaps I will increase my squat weight -- I need to get those thighs in tip-top shape for the aforementioned swimming. Although, sometimes I wonder about targeting a certain muscle. Let's face it, I need to melt the fat off of my thighs, that's the true problem. So afterward I will stay for some cardio. Should I run or walk hills or climb steps? Who thinks they know the best exercise for sleek legs? Then I will go home and try on my new clothes again and think about how far I have come.

Boring

I feel like my workout blog has gotten kind of boring. Much like my life I suppose. My workouts are boring too and lately I have had nothing great and inspiring to write about. Today for instance I hit the gym for an hour and did 2o minutes each of: the treadmill (more hills and fast walking), the bike (at a very fast pace) and the stair climber (level 3 and 4). I am excited that this is a "normal" week where I get to take three BodyPumps, none of which have to be in the pre-dawn hours. My weight hasn't changed any in the last three days, so I am still not eating out at restaurants. So what's left to write about? Same same!

So I guess that's all I have to say... unless I mention the Brazilian woman who takes Combat with us every week and stood by me on Monday. She is very strange and loud and did I mention strange. She told me that she was new-ish and that's why she stands in the back. But combat has just melted her back fat away! Then she proceeded to lift up her shirt and show Erin and I her stomach fat which she hopes combat will deal with next. Then she laughed really hard and came over and touched me. Generally, I don't mind being touched, not even by strangers. But, strangers that have just touched their belly fat... that's where I draw the line. I guess my life's not so boring after all!

100th Blog Entry

Combat seemed a little better last night. I am not sure why that is. Perhaps I am finally getting the hang of it, or maybe it's because I was in the back row and could see more people, or it could be that there were 3 new people in class and for once I wasn't the worst looking combater. I hate looking dumb; for the most part I avoid anything in my life that makes me look and/or feel stupid. But part of my fear of looking dumb is my obsession with my gay and/or married instructor. As if my excelling at punching will make him become straight and/or divorced. How immature it makes me feel to even care what he thinks. Somehow I am always lined up so he can see everything I do. I wish someone else taught that class. I need to grow up and get over that fear right away.

I am off of work at noon today. I plan on getting to the gym an hour before BodyPump so I can get some cardio done. If it wasn't a dreary, rainy day I might try to workout outside. I also plan on taking a nap because getting up at 6am wears me out for the rest of the day. My Self Challenge ends this week. I have lost about 14 pounds in the 12 week program. I don't know what I will do without the excellent log that comes with it. I have been looking on the internet for other online food journals, but they don't seem as simple. I don't want one where I have to enter fat, protein, fiber, etc. All I need to know is calories in/calories out. But I know that I want to have an online version. I love being able to update it at work, after lunch, after a snack. I also like the neat graphics that the computer will do for you. Seeing a chart of my weight loss is way cooler than just writing it down.

3 weeks till Summer

Overall, I had a really good week. I am down 4 pounds from last Monday, putting me at 16 left to lose. Seeing the scale read 14.5 earlier this week, is really a double-edged sword. Although I would have liked my official weigh-in this morning to be 15 pounds (a whopping five pound loss for the week), I can't be disappointed with four pounds. And I know that the scale will be at the 15 or 14 pound marker soon, since it was already there once. Buying those small pants this weekend also helps me feel like I am doing good things. I need to take some measurements again. I always forget to do that, and I know that those numbers are just as important as scale numbers.

Tonight I will make it to Combat. We'll see if I have improved any from last week. I really started getting the hang of it the second week I went, because they were using the same songs (remember it was launch week). But last week, when they brought out all new stuff, I just felt lost the whole time. Although I burned a ton of calories, I wasn't working nearly as hard because I was standing around half the time waiting to understand what I was supposed to do. I need to work more on bouncing around on my feet at all times. I almost packed pink pants for tonight's class, but I decided against it. Pink doesn't bring out my aggression, and will make me look even more girlish.

After working eight straight days in a row, and being exhausted, and getting one day off, which I had to spend in Columbus with my family, now I am back to a regular week. Sure, I have to work 5 days this week, and yes I have to be at work at 7am on Tuesday to let the election officials in, but for the most part it is a standard week. I intend on getting to BodyPump on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday morning. I will plan on getting my cardio in on Monday evening, Wednesday morning, Saturday and Sunday. I love a standard schedule. I wish every week could be like this.

Weekend Woes

I haven't had a great weekend. I probably ate too much, although not more than 1500 calories each day. I didn't work out at all: I was busy working and shopping and celebrating Mother's day with my family. Grandma made banana bread -- I can't pass that up. So I only logged four hours of gym time this week: two BodyPumps an hour of running and Combat. On top of that my weight went up about three pounds this morning... I don't know what's up with that. But get this: yesterday I bought a pair of size 10 pants that fit! Well, fit tightly, but I can button them!! That was my ultimate goal; to wear a size 10. That is definitely motivating. I feel like I am almost there. I just have to work really hard for the next couple of months, and then I can get on with my life and real life goals!

A Long Day

I made it to my second (and last) BodyPump this morning at 6am. It was early, as always, but at least Jennifer went with me. It was hard to go home and get ready for work, without taking a nap. And I was exhausted the rest of the day. But I guess that's what you get. I used high weights on every track, since I was only able to get two sessions in this week. It's hard to exert that much energy that early in the morning, but I am glad I squeezed it in.

I did an excellent job of eating at this graduation party I went to this evening. I ate two bites of my mom's cake. And instead of eating the sandwich spread they had out with pointless white rolls and mayonnaise, I just ate the lunch meat. I allowed myself to splurge on chips and dip. It's better to eat a serving or two of someone else's junk food, than to buy it for myself. I managed to stay around 1200 calories today as well. My weight has maintained itself at the 15 pound mark for another day. I am insistent to keep it there until Monday.

Licensed to Drive

I have had a really good week so far. Somehow my scale has been falling every day. I have hit the 15 pound point in which I am going to let myself eat out again. However, I am still going to keep my commitment for the rest of this week. I don't know how or why the pounds just evaporated these last four days, but I sure am glad they did. Generally Thursday is my lowest weight of the week, and then it shoots up over the weekend. I am going to try really hard to ensure that does not happen. I am super-excited about hitting 15 pounds. It's not just that I can see the end. But, for the first time in my life: I weigh what it says on my drivers licence! Now let's admit it ladies, none of us put our real weight on our license. So when I was 16 years old (and got my first license) I lied by about 10 pounds. And then, I never changed anything. Technically, I am a half pound lower than what my license says. How many of you can say that? I think I will reward myself with a new license (and picture!) when I make it to my final weight. And I will again knock about 5-10 pounds off of my actual weight... because that's just what we do!

It is a beautiful spring day here. I took a couple of hours of vacation this morning, so I don't have to go in until 5:00ish. I went for a run/walk down through the park again. This time I forgot to wear my Nike Chip, so I don't know how fast I was going. But I made it about the same distance as before (around 4 miles). I was gone about 50 minutes according to the clock at Walgreen's. Seeing the scale move makes it so much easier for me to eat healthy and workout hard. I know it's all paying off. For example: whenever I feel that pain in my ovary or get a side cramp I just tell myself that is the feeling of fat burning. And knowing that my lower abdomen is burning fat, allows me to keep pushing myself. It will also make it easier for me to skip the ice cream sundaes at tonight's book group meeting, the cake at the graduation I am going to tomorrow evening, and the pie my uncle is making for mother's day. Think how skinny I could be by Monday, if I can just do that. On a related note: Tuesday I did an excellent job of skipping a whole bunch of donuts, donut holes and cinnamon roles that some evil person left in the break room. And look it paid off. I could have had one, but then I wouldn't be weighing less then my driver's license. And that feels way better than the taste of ooey-gooey cinnamon.

Damn I'm Hot!

So far today, and it's only 7:30pm, I have received 5 compliments on how good I look. Two were from my co-workers but the other three were from customers. And I have to say, it's true! I finally made myself wear a new pair of pants I bought from the Gap a few weeks ago. I think that they are a little tight, but oh well. And I pulled out a new top that I bought last week, which is cute and springy. Not my normal jeans and t-shirt look. And because I am wearing things that fit snugly, I probably look a lot skinnier than I do when I wear drooping pants and large shirts.


So I appreciate the compliments; the boy do you look skinny, or you look really cute today. Even the you've lost a lot of weight, you must be working really hard I got from one customer was fine. It's not like I am trying to hide it, and I guess it's nice that my customers feel like we're close enough that they can make comments like that. I hope those same people are around to protect me when a bad-guy comes in, or my car needs jump-started after work. However, today a lady asked me so how many pounds have you lost? I just sort of stumbled around the question, hoping that soon she would realize that this was none of her business. Then she followed up with: what's your number? And just stared at me blankly waiting for me to reveal my personal information to her. I made up some number that I knew would make her happy and she congratulated me and went on with her library concerns. I am still in shock. You would never ask a woman how much she weighs. Is it alright to ask how much weight she lost? I work with the public and lead a pretty public life (I have compared it to Britney Spears on occasion) but this is not something that should be asked of anyone. Am I right? I should have asked her How much did you (or your dead husband) spend on that hideous diamond ring? I didn't though; I am so much hotter than her that I didn't need to stoop to her level!

I was going to name this post: Sometimes I need to have a life. I skipped the gym this morning because I was so tired (from not sleeping well the night before) and I was sore (from that really tough BP session yesterday) and because I had a good book I wanted to read. I told myself that I would make it there after work (at 9pm) but now I don't think I want to. First, I would have to go home, because my fabulous outfit today didn't allow for quick changing in the locker room. Second, I really need groceries and I need to do laundry. Working out seven hours a week, and working 40 hours really takes up about all of my time. Most days I don't get home until 8:00. That's not how I am going to want to spend my summer evenings. I need to develop a habit of going to the gym in the morning -- at least twice a week. I am going to start on Friday with 6am BodyPump (it's the only other one I can get to this week). And I am not even going home afterward to take a nap. Instead I am going to go give a talk to 400 middle school kids. Talk about a thrilling morning. I'm up for the challenge -- that's just the kind of hot gal I am!

So Sleepy

I didn't sleep well last night even though I was tired. I think I got about 3 to 4 hours of sleep, which is pretty low for me, since I try to get 8 hours every night. That didn't stop me from getting to BodyPump this evening. It seemed really hard, and really hot in the workout room. I was sweating through most of the workout. I let myself go easy on biceps this week (back to just a medium) because I have been doing a medium and a small for almost a month now. It was way too easy. So I guess that tells me something, even though the higher weight is so hard, I have improved some. I also have been working on doing the hovers on my toes. Generally, I have to go back to my knees, but I am trying to do more and more of it on my toes. Someday...

Jennifer mentioned, in Monday's comments section, that I am thinking about not going back to Combat. I suck at it. I'm not mean enough and don't punch hard enough and most of the time I am lost. I went back on Monday evening and they were mixing up the music. So I had no idea what I was doing again. Next week, I am going to stand in the back row. We'll see if I am better when I can't see myself. I just think: how many times can I go and be completely lost before I just decide, this isn't for me?

4 weeks till Summer

I gained a pound this week. And not that I didn't expect it, with all the bad eating I did this week. I am just really angry with myself. I ate out six times this week. That is not the path to weight loss. I know that; I just did it anyway. And then while I was out, instead of making healthy choices, I made bad ones. Now look at where I am. I have 20 pounds left to lose. I was supposed to be at 17 pounds this week. There is a big difference between 20 and 17. Ugh! At least this week I know what I did wrong. I just wish I could go back and do the week over.

I think I have become obsessed with the scale. I weigh in every morning and every evening, and some times in between. I get so frustrated when it moves up a little instead of down. (For example, last Thursday morning, before the weekend of bad eating, I was at that 17 pound mark). They say that seeing it move daily keeps you on the straight and narrow. But as an analyser, I seem to have become obsessed. I compare morning weigh-ins, nightly weigh-ins, after I pee weigh-ins, after I eat salt weigh-ins, etc... I wonder if I didn't weigh myself again until June 1st what would happen. Unless I gave Jennifer my scale I probably couldn't do it. And I like having those stats; it's what makes a math genius happy. I am going to make this declaration: I will not be eating out again, at a restaurant, until I am down to 15 pounds. That means, I could have a great week and a half and be back there. But I must commit myself. Unless of course, Jennifer's birthday comes, and then I can't ruin her special day with my weird food issues. Other than that, I must commit myself.

At least I worked out hard-core this week. I burned more calories in this seven day stretch than I ever have before. I got three BodyPumps done, a Combat class, some running and just some other great cardio. Think at where I would have been if I just sat around after eating all that food. That's how I got into this whole weight thing in the first place.

Hungry Girl

I have just discovered the hungry girl cookbook, which led me to the hungry girl website. She is not a doctor, not a nutritionist, not even a chef. She is just a hungry girl who wanted to find yummy and healthy food. So she spends time at grocery stores finding great low-calorie foods and she spends time concocting new recipes in her kitchen. She calls herself a foodologist. I have been scouring her website for ideas. I am halfway through the cookbook and have marked several dishes I would like to try. I think you should all check her out. I may want to actually own this cookbook (that or I am going to be making a lot of copies). I feel like I spend tons of time trying to find low-fat ways to make yummy food. Now she has done it for me. And lets face it, aren't we all hungry girls?

Bad Choices

For the last three days I have eaten poorly. It all starts out well: I have a great breakfast and an excellent lunch. But then I make some sort of dinner plans, and all goes to hell. I have eaten way too many calories Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I am worried about tomorrow as well, seeing as I will have lunch with my mom and then I am going to a work Pizza-Party in the evening. This won't make for a good weigh-in on Monday. I am getting nervous. And then I get so mad at myself for basing everything on the number on the scale. But, that's what I am working on... so why waste all those hours at the gym by making some poor choices at dinner time. Or why can't I just stop eating and take half of it home?

Thanks to my co-worker, Stephanie, I was able to go to work an hour late this morning. This gave me the opportunity to make it to my third BodyPump of the week. Finally, we are done with the new launch songs. Today was a nice mix. The bicep track was very tough. I thought my new higher weight was getting easier, but turns out I was just getting used to that song. I went easy on squats today because a) I had to go straight to work and didn't want to do any sweating, b) my legs have been sore from running and all the other working out I have been doing this week, and c) once in a while it's nice to have an easy track. I finished all seven hours and can take tomorrow off. I am looking forward to having a day of rest; my body is very tired. It might be all the working out I am doing, or all the work (like at my job) that I have been doing.

Impressive

I made it to 6am BodyPump. I wasn't meeting anyone. I had to get myself there alone, in the pouring rain, and the dark morning. But this was the only way I was going to make it to BodyPump three times this week. (It turns out that the person I am working with tomorrow said I could come in after BodyPump, so I just have to take a couple hours of vacation.) So I made it this morning. Pretty impressive! And I stayed after for 30 minutes of walking. There was hardly anyone at the gym this morning; the pouring rain must have kept a lot of people home in bed. But I am always impressed by the people who are there. They only way I can make it is knowing that I can go home and sleep some more. These people probably all have 8-5 jobs and have to work a full day after getting up at 5:30am. Or they have no jobs and are all homeless, and find a gym membership allows them free cable, shelter and a shower. Ya never know! After my class tomorrow morning I will have all seven hours done.

Tonight I am trying a new restaurant with some friends: Magnolia. I hear they have some good home-cooking type meals, and they are also supposed to have great vegetarian options (good for my friend Steph). I hope that I can find something deliciously healthy. I spent my afternoon, after a three hour nap this morning, shopping at the mall. I hadn't meant to spend so much time there. Nor had I meant to spend so much money. But I got some great summer shirts. If only the weather would warm up once and for all.

May Day

I celebrated this beautiful May Day by getting up at 9am and getting in a good workout. I ran/walked down to/through the park. It was a nice 67 degree day, with a light wind and the sun shinning. In my sixty minute workout I really only ran 20 minutes, but I got almost 4 miles in. My legs are sore from squats this week (apparently my body has gotten used to going three times a week and then last week I only went twice, and now I feel the squats again.) I am sure they will be even more sore later today. I am trying to get them stretched out as much as possible. I have tomorrow off from work, but get this: a high of 54, and possibly raining -- great. My goal is to get up at 6am and make it to BodyPump (I won't be able to go tonight). Then I need to stay for a half an hour of cardio. But at 7:30, I will be done with my workout and can come home and go back to bed for the day!

Now I need to get ready for work. I am hosting a Teen Karaoke Party tonight. I knew I would have no energy after that to hit the gym, so I am really proud of myself for getting up and out there this morning. I was thinking about giving myself today off from working out, but since this is the first day of May, I needed to start the month out right. Now for a nice hot shower...