Life Lessons from the Bike Trail

Today I went for a great bike ride. I had meant to get up early and do it before lunch with my mom. But I decided to sleep in a bit and read a magazine in bed instead. So at about 2:30 I went out to discover the Lincoln Trails. They are wonderful. I did a lot of great biking; I think I rode at least 8 miles in my hour so I probably burned a lot of calories. I also got to soak up some sunshine, but not so much that I was too hot. After I was about 7 minutes away from home (the hardest part of the ride) I realized that I had forgotten my iPod. That left me with 53 minutes with nothing to do but enjoy the scenery. In that time, I realized that there were a lot of life lessons to learn on the bike trail. I will now impart you with my wisdom:
1. When you usually go left, turn right instead.
2. Sometimes the trail is flat and easy, but most of the time it's all uphill.
3. When you find yourself pedaling and not getting anywhere, it's time to change gears.
4. You're gonna meet a lot of people on the bike trail, and sometimes they are old men with no shirts on.
5. Even if you don't know where the trail leads, the ride is still fun.
6. That same wind that dries your sweat will make it damn hard to go forward.
7. Always have your cell phone handy; you never know when you might get a flat tire, or just be too tired to return home.
8. By the time you're worn out enough to need a drink of water, the water will be hot.
9. When you see the Walgreen's, you're almost home.
10. No matter what... your vagina is gonna hurt tomorrow!