Heart Broken

As many of you know, because I have called you in an outrage, my gym is no longer (after tonight) holding classes. Their claim is that the classes require too many parking spots and parking is too difficult at our location. Instead they are going to fill the classroom with high end cardio equipment (as if that's supposed to make us forget the fact that they are taking away everything worthwhile). Now most of you will have the normal "WTF" response where you question any gyms ability to not offer group fitness and the method of eliminating them in two days. But for some reason I am taking this really hard. I am indeed heart broken. I have cried about it. And if you are not addicted to the classes then you wouldn't understand and think I am silly. But as people who love to run (which is not me) would say they are addicted to running and get a runner's high, I am addicted to these classes and the motivation and enjoyment and results they provide. Without them I feel like my workout life is over. Really! There is NO way I can spend seven hours at the gym and devote it all to cardio. I have never been able to get the same muscle sculpting ability when using free weight or weight machines. I need that high-energy motivation that the classes provide. So currently I am sick.

What to do now? Jennifer and I spent hours last night researching gyms in the area. Most of them are a lot more money, which I really can't afford. But truly, I would say that money is no object. If I could get my classes back at my gym I would pay more, I would agree to pay per class, I would sign contracts. But I can't get my classes back. There are no other gyms that offer the exact thing I am used to. So I would have to switch to new instructors, new methods, 45 minute classes, a longer drive time, kids in the gym. None of that makes me happy. And besides, I have paid through next February and should really continue to get those benefits. So I think my best option now is to hire a personal trainer. I dread it. I hate to give my gym any more money for being assholes. I hate to reward them for this. And yes I plan to call the gym manager to explain my frustration. To make him realize that I will walk, and six other gym members will go with me! But that won't change his mind. It's done.

I realize that this is a dependency. I need to accept the fact that I can lose these last 17 pounds without the classes. I can run, inside and out now. I can still lift weights. I can use the new cool machines that sure as hell better be state of the art. But for the last year and a half I have done really well at losing weight and I have those classes and those instructors to thank for it. I don't think I could have done it without them. And for the most part, I am very scared right now.