Failure??

It's just so hard. This morning I attempted another 2/3 run combo. I am still intent on running at an 11-minute mile pace (5.5 mph). But it is just so hard. The first few sets went fine. I was tired at the end of two minutes, but then I got to walk and my heartrate came down. But afterthe 6th run (out of 7) my heart was racing. I felt dizzy and ill. I told myself I could just walk more and run the last one when I felt good enough. When I still didn't feel better I told myself I didn't have to run anymore, I could just walk the remaining minutes. After another minute of worrying that I was going to puke at the gym in front of all of those people (well the 3 that were there on a Friday morning) I had to get off the treadmill and go lie down in the locker room.
I failed.
And I am not sure where to go from here. I suppose I should just keep on with the training schedule I had and see if it gets easier in a few weeks. But perhaps, I should rethink my goals. Maybe jumping from a 13-minute mile to an 11-minute mile is too large of a jump. Maybe I should be happy running the 5k in March at a 12-minute pace.

This morning I was telling Jennifer that I was beginning to dread the gym -- on days when I knew I had to go there to run. She reminded me of one of my favorite Friends episodes where Monica decides to take a dance class even though this is one of her greatest fears. She is a horrible dancer but when the teacher calls her out for it: 'you in back, you're doing it wrong'. Monica replies with this great line: 'At least I'm doing it!'

This reminds me of a wonderful stat I read in a magazine the other day. Even if you think that you're running with the wrong form, or too slow, or you look silly, or you're breathing too heavily. At least your doing better than the 75% of Americans who don't exercise. And at least your attempting to do something that 95% of Americans never will: run a 5k.