What's Wrong with Me?

Another two plus weeks with no blogging action. What is wrong with me? I vow to back to a place where I have something worth while to say. The more I talk about working out the more I like to do it. And the more I have to admit that I ate three desserts the less I want to do it. So blogging is good on many levels. And if I continue blogging maybe you will too. And reading your posts helps me most of all.

Last night Brandy and I tried out the YMCA. Lincoln has four YMCA locations, all of which you get to attend if you join one branch. Two locations are nice and new (one is 30 minutes away down south, the other is 15 minutes away out by my mom's house). The one by me is old. And it shows. But I got a guest pass in the mail and was determined to try two classes there and to judge the entire gym on that experience! First we took spinning. It was excellent. Although I missed my goodyear-gals, I found the class a great workout. Everyone was welcoming and the bikes were wonderful. They have digital readouts so you know how hard you are working. And, all the bikes work, which is quite an improvement from Goodyear. This gym was getting high rankings by me! Then we tried Power Pump. I had my fingers crossed that this would be similar to BodyPump. It was not. I just don't understand people who take these weight-lifting classes. Once you do bodypump, you'll never go back. That being said, I am a tad sore today. And I can see how doing these different moves might work different muscles than I am used to. But I didn't break a sweat in class, and I wouldn't say I was at all worn out. I could have done these same things during the commercial break of a television show. Maybe I will.

Two Weeks, No Blog?

I have never gone two weeks without updating, and I am feeling bad about it. But I have't been feeling great the last two weeks in more than one way, so it's hard to think of uplifting and motivating things to write about. I got a cold the week of Thanksgiving, and although I never had a second to take off from life, I took a little time off from working out (five days). I went back to class on Wednesday evening for a slightly easier version of that Boxing class and then Thursday ended up with a mild case of food poisoning. I was only out for a day with that, but ended up losing four pounds. After two solid weeks of having no consistency I find it is a lot easier to skip working out and not worrying about what I am eating. However, I need to turn that around this week and that is why I am finally updating this blog.

I have been feeling pretty depressed about my life lately, and that's just not something I like to put out there on the Internet for everyone to read. When I turned 29 last year I promised to have a different life by this time next year. And I don't. I have a worse life. And now I have one month left to get into a good place. I know that a lot of exercise and healthy eating can get me in a better frame of mind... and that's all I can change.

Body Healing

Today's Running Distance: 3 miles
Time: 35:02 (11:40 miles)
Brandy and I met this morning, on a beautiful fall day, to try and run three miles fast. I haven't tried to beat any times since that race last month (four weeks ago). For the last few weeks we have been practicing getting distance miles (four) in. So we figured that it was time to see if I could go any faster. Turns out, I am even slower. I had to walk for just a bit half way trough. It just doesn't seem to get any easier. I need to make sure to get in more than one run a week.

I took the last two day off from working out. But my body needed time to heal after that Wednesday workout. My arms were so sore from punching. My abs were so sore from that class. I was just a wreck. But we're planning on going back again next Wednesday. I think that it could do some good. And I have eaten pretty well the last few days. And plan to keep that up for the weekend. I need to see a weight loss on Monday. It has to get me through the holiday week.

Boxing

Yowza! I had a half day today so I went to the gym 30 minutes early (even though I wanted to stay home and finish my book) to take the abs class. It wasn't too bad. The teacher, Mike, wasn't real excited about doing abs and the class was really small. So it was more like we did some abs and then sat around a bit. I did hurt myself when I fell off the ball (really I "casually rolled" off the ball) onto a weight I had stacked next to it. I already have a bruise on my shin/knee. I'm sure I will feel it tomorrow though. Another 20 minutes of abs is bound to effect something. Then Brandy joined me for the class, which I am simply going to refer to as: Boxing. It was good. First we warmed up in the gym by running laps and other things such as high knees and side shuffles (groan!). Then we did some sort of interval training where we did some boxing moves (jab, cross, hook, uppercut, front kick, roundhouse) in between one minute of jumping a rope. Jumping rope is a lot harder than it used to be as a fifth grader during recess. I seem to remember it being fun. But not so much. We were dripping with sweat after just 20 minutes. I never thought I would make it through and at one point Brandy claimed to be too delirious to know what was going on. Mike, the teacher, is a tad annoying in the sense that he doesn't actually do the moves. He just walks around and makes sure that we are doing them right. But he did whip out the punching pads (which he wears on his hands and we punch and kick them). It was amazing how much stronger you are when you are actually punching against something other than air. But my delicate hands turned red immediately and I even broke a blood vessel and have a little red mark. Good thing I am no longer on "hand-preservation-mode" for the wedding. Brandy thinks we might have to get wraps if we're going to continue with this. Overall though, it reminded me how much easier Spinning is than Kickboxing. I haven't been that tired in a long time. Even running doesn't exhaust me to the same degree. Probably because I can't push myself as hard as an instructor could. I wonder how fast I could run if I took a running class. I'll go again, but I am scared to go without a friend. What if I pass out?

Back to Intervals

Generally I allow myself to take Tuesdays off from working out since I work eleven hour days. But since I am trying to increase my workout time each week I made myself go to the gym. Besides, I didn't have anything else planned, and if I allowed myself to think up a social activity it would have involved Tuesday-night Margaritas and Mazatlan! But enough unhealthy talk. Instead I drug (dragged?) my behind to the gym to watch the last hour of The Biggest Loser. It inspires me to workout harder. I decided that I needed to get back to running intervals if I was ever going to speed up my running routine. Even though I have nothing to train for I am wanting to run three times a week. At least once with Brandy, once as intervals and one long run by myself. So I did ten walk/run intervals for twenty minutes. I kept it up at 6.0 the entire run-time which is a difficult speed for me to maintain, but one I would love to be able to do for 30 minutes one day.

Then I came home and had some chocolate fondue.

Perfected Something

It turns out I pretty much have perfected maintaining this weight. For the last two weeks I have eaten everything under the sun and worked out an average of 5 or 6 hours and I have stayed precisely at 15 pounds. I guess it's motivating to know that if I could be happy with this weight I seem to have found the right habits to keep it here. Upsettingly, I am not happy at this weight and therefore I must change something (or lots of somethings) if I do want to see a change. First and foremost I need to watch what I am eating. I have been saying that for the last week and you're probably getting tired of reading about it. I did pretty well today. I did let myself have a little bit of chocolate, but other than that, I kept my meals small and healthy. How good for you are Graham Crackers? Secondly, I need to get back to working out seven or eight hours a week. I hate to commit to that much time at the gym because it really gets in the way of having a social life. But the truth is: I don't have a social life, and if I continue to run with Brandy once a week I am combining exercise and socializing. Either way, I need to commit to this.

As much as I have grown to love Spinning and the gals I have befriended in class, I am eager to try kickboxing again. I mentioned that Wednesdays were more of a boxing class now and Brandy and I are going to try it this week. But today I saw that the Monday teacher has changed as well. I have no idea what kind class she will teach. But I did hear her tell Mary that she taught at Gold's several years back (I don't remember her). I would love to be able to mix up my workout depending on what I felt like and how much my legs wanted to be exhausted versus my upperbody. Speaking of my upperbody: it's hard to keep using the Medium and Small weights during the shoulder track. Before I would just keep repeating: you must have great shoulders for Jennifer's wedding. Now that it's over, what do I shout at myself?

I Can't Stop Eating

There is too much junk food in my house. And I can't make myself throw it away. At least now it is all over a week old and I don't have to eat it anymore. Tomorrow I will throw away the left over fried chicken, the spinach dip, the chocolate fondue. I should also make myself go to the grocery store and buy some healthy fruit and vegetables. But all the martinis still need to be drunk (drank? drunken?), and there is way too many dollars of alcohol in there that I can not pour down the drain. Who will help me drink them? It's not like having a glass of wine with dinner. You don't sit down and drink martinis by yourself.

I was supposed to go running with Brandy this morning but she bailed on me. I can't blame her; she was up late celebrating her 30th birthday. Then I got a call and had to go into work. So I never got around to working out. It was so busy at work today, that I hardly sat down. And for that reason, it seems like I already burned enough calories. But I just came home and ate some chocolate and vanilla wafers. I need to have a good week now. Thanksgiving is just two weeks away, and we know that week will be shot to hell. What am I going to do? I need to stop eating!

Some Running

I haven't been doing much running lately. But I am at least keeping up a weekly routine of meeting Brandy. Last week we did four miles around Mahoney Park the morning after Jennifer's bachelorette party. I had only gotten three hours sleep and was completely dehydrated. This morning we met there again and did another four miles. It was perfect weather, although quite humid for a fall day. I had slept eight hours and was in perfect physical condition and it was harder! Last week we did it in: 45:54. This week it took 46:05. I guess we were probably running a little faster this week because I had to take two walk breaks -- and I still finished in almost the exact time. I would really like to get in the habit of doing two three mile runs and a four mile run each week. I am glad that Brandy likes getting out there with me because she is a great motivator and running partner. I hope that she has a great 30th birthday tomorrow. We are celebrating with Lazlo's fries and free dessert tonight.

I skipped Butts and Guts last night because I was exhausted from work. Someone called in sick, someone took a day of vacation, someone had a family emergency and someone had family in the volleyball tournament, and eventually it was just me left at work. Sure it was only for a few hours before someone else had to come and take over the "alone time" but it wares on a girl. Just because I am never sick, don't have family emergencies, or family in volleyball tournaments doesn't mean I have to get left with all the work! So I relaxed at home last night eating/drinking leftovers and watching some sappy chick-flick.

The Void

Remember how I said that I had a void in my life. I have spent so much time thinking about/planning/preparing for Jennifer's wedding and now it is over. She's on her honeymoon so she doesn't have to go on with her real life. But me, I have to move forward now. And the last two days I have filled that void with junk food. Imagine all the crap I have left over from the Bachelorette party, plus tons of left over food from the wedding, plus cake and mints. I should go to the grocery store to get some healthy options, but it's not like I don't have enough to eat. I just feel guilty throwing all that food away. I've already taken cupcakes to work. Tomorrow I might have to take something else... Fried Chicken???

I did go to Spinning and BodyPower tonight. I was so sore from taking a week off. I am never doing that again. But it felt good to go back tonight. And in everything but squats I was back up to my normal weight limits. We had a sub for Spinning tonight -- Jen the head aerobics teacher at Goodyear. She was really good and the class had me working really really hard. As I headed into the BodyPower class though a man was teaching it. According to the few participants, he is the new teacher and he does a bunch of boxing type exercises: punching, jumping rope, skipping, etc... I think I will try that out next Wednesday. That sounds much better than the jazzersize class they're still holding (often with nobody attending) on Monday.

I am considering going to Butts and Guts tomorrow night. I know that I will be sore this weekend, but I should try to get to that class more often. Brandy and I are planning on running on Friday morning (or afternoon) and I hope that we will do another 4 miles together. Friday night we're going to dinner for her 30th birthday. Maybe I can talk her into running on Sunday too!

Free Time

The wedding festivities are all over. The out of town guests have returned to their homes. I finally can get my life on track. Although honestly, I feel a huge void right now where I don't know what to do with myself. I felt like this when I had finished running that 10k in June. Everything I have been working toward for the last so many months is over and now I have no goals. So I need to work on getting some fitness goals again. My weight was up (a lot) this week due to crappy eating and a lot of alcohol drinking. My stomach has been upset since Thursday night's Bachelorette party. Still, I got up and ran 4 miles with Brandy on Friday, which was a really good choice. Saturday was so busy that I hardly ate anything and then spent 5 hours on the dance floor. But cake and left overs, and more drinking with out of town guests on Sunday. Plus cake for Grandma's birthday today... just needs to end. This morning I was (luckily) only at 15 pounds from my goal weight. I need to pick up the pace and get this over with. You know it was one of my 30 things goals -- to reach my goal weight by my 30th birthday. And now the holidays are coming. And I am still determined to get there.

I went spinning tonight and could tell that I had taken a week off. I am getting to the point where I know exactly how to turn the knob to make it harder and I made myself push as hard as I could. Still, I hadn't noticed all last week that my knee didn't hurt very much. And as soon as I got off that spinning bike that old familiar pain was back. I went to BodyPower but had to go light on several tracks. What a week off will do to you. The good news is, I know I can go higher again on Wednesday. I don't know that I have taken an entire week off from classes since they cancelled them on me over a year ago.

Anyway, here's to new goals!

Really Bad Idea

I didn't even want to post today. I am incredibly embarrassed by my weight gain this week. But even more I am in disbelief. I had a six pound weight gain this week. I don't even want to do the math to see how that is physically possible. How many thousand of extra calories I would have had to eaten in just seven days to see a gain like that. Instead I am blaming it on the salty Chinese food and some kind of water retention. But then to make matters even worse, I started feeling ill today. I have a sore throat and a runny nose. It could easily be that it was cold in the library today, and I wasn't wearing enough close. Plus I only got 5.5 hours of sleep last night. But either way, I skipped the gym this evening. I can't risk getting sick for real this week. To many super-important festivities. And because of those festivities I don't see my eating habits changing much. After this wedding is over, then my life can get back on track.

Bad Idea

So the zero-workout-plan works fine if you eat really well all week. If you can keep to 1200 calories per day, then the working out bit isn't as important. And as I mentioned before by not working out I don't need the extra calories. Still, I eat like crap. This week I ate Chinese food twice. I had fried food once. And at least ten pieces of Halloween chocolate. That mixed with no working out doesn't equal weight loss; in fact it equals weight gain.

Luckily I did end up working out six hours this week. Two classes on both Monday and Wednesday. A 35 minute run with Brandy on Saturday. And a 70 minute visit to the gym this evening where I did uphill walking and hard biking. Spinning class has really taught me how to push myself really hard on the gym bikes. I had my heart rate up to 165 and my legs were shaking.

I am not looking forward to weighing in tomorrow morning. And I am not anticipating a week of good eating. This week will be filled with parties, drinking and celebrating Jennifer's wedding. At least I plan to fill it with hours of workout. I think I am putting a hiatus on the zero-workout-plan. Although I'm not sure I ever really tried that plan, seeing as I got five and six hours of gym time in each week.

Logical

I had a one pound loss this week. I'm back to that dreaded 13 pound mark. But still, a loss! And I only worked out 4 hours. Honestly I thought that it would be a little lower. I ate really well all week (except for margaritas/mexican on Monday) and just felt lighter. Don't ask me to explain that. I can't help but feeling like I could have lost more if I had gone to the gym a few more hours. Still, it seems logical that if I had worked out last night after work I would have come home and eaten a snack (probably a fattening one) instead of just watching the baseball game and reading a book. I also need to take into account that working out makes me feel better about myself. If I skip the gym I feel depressed and sad and worthless so that benefit can't be overlooked. But what portion of that is guilt? It's hard to "let" myself skip the gym.

My goal for this week is to attend Spinning and BodyPower twice. I am dog-sitting on Thursday so if it is not raining, I hope to run/walk with Hannah. Besides that I will see how I am feeling. It seems really freeing not to have to cram an hour workout into each day. Especially because I am in the middle of a seven-day work stretch. But if the scale starts moving up, or a hint of depression sets in, I need to get back to the gym.

I want everyone's opinion: is it logical that I could lose more weight by cutting back on the cardio?

Zero Workout Plan

I have a new thought on working out: don't do so much of it. Every once in a while I go through this phase where I just don't feel like working out. This generally translates into four to five hours of gym time opposed to the usual seven I do. And in these periods of slacking I generally find that I lose weight. How baffling! I wonder if I am losing muscle or something like that. But what if this is the theory: when I workout seven plus hours a week, I eat more. And I probably eat more than the 300ish calories I burn by working out. I'm not saying that I am going to quit working out entirely. I am just going to tone it down a little and see if I see results. This week I have only worked out four hours (and probably won't add any more tomorrow). My scale was down two pounds this morning. So far it's working! On the other hand, when I am not working out, I crave it. I can't wait to go running and see how far/fast/long I can run. Maybe a little downtime with be good for me in several ways.

Back in the Saddle

Even though I was pretty scared to go back, I got back in the saddle tonight at tackled Spinning. I had to keep telling myself that having your toe strap break and cracking your ankle is a fluke accident and it wouldn't happen to me. But boy was it scary. Still, I got a pretty good workout in. And the emergency from Monday has really bonded me with the ladies in class. I have grown closer to them in the last six weeks than I have the entire year I was taking Kickboxing.
I was very sore yesterday and today from my high-squat weights in BodyPower on Monday. But I kept it up again tonight and I am feeling better already. Other than that every thing's about the same. I have Thursday and Friday off from work (before I work seven straight days in a row) so I might be mixing up some workouts in the next few days. I will keep you posted.

New Hopes

I worked out seven hours this last week, even though I felt like I was slacking. I guess the three hour start on Monday really helped out. Then I took my normal two classes on Wednesday, plus an interval run/weights on Saturday and finally yesterday's race. Still I ate whatever I wanted and the scale jumped up and down all week. It landed at 14 pounds this morning. Obviously I am not going to be where I need to be in three weeks for Jennifer's wedding. But I am going to make a good effort to work on it this week. I need to get back to writing down everything I eat. Starting tomorrow! Tonight I am going out for celebratory Margaritas with Shannon and some others. There has to be some benefit to putting myself through all that race trauma.

Tonight in Spinning there was a catastrophe. About five minutes before class was over we were all standing up sprinting (going as fast as we can) when this girl's foot strap broke. Her ankle twisted in the toe brace and immediately began swelling. She couldn't put any weight on it and eventually began crying. It scared us all. I don't need that happening to me. Hurting myself is one of my greatest fears. Like one of these times when I am running too fast, or in the rain, or off of curbs, I am going to fall and break something. But then I remember that that kind of thing only happens to Jennifer, so I am safe!

Now that my race is over I jumped right back to my high squat weights. I am sure that I will pay for that tomorrow, but it will be a good pain. I also remember, just in time, that I meant to use Larges for warm up. It is really helping to make shoulders easier and maybe even biceps. Do you notice that you don't warm up your triceps or chest. How are those supposed to ever get stronger?

More Race Disappointments

Finishing VERY Late

I am almost ashamed of today's race. And I really don't know why I keep putting myself through this. My goal was 34 minutes, and I knew it was a lofty goal. At worst I thought that I would be able to do it in 36 minutes. But after the chip-time delay, I am looking at a 38:48 minute run. That sucks! It's my perfectionism that holds me back. I have said before that I am not motivated by these runs. Being next to a bunch of runners doesn't inspire me. It makes me nervous. And since this race wasn't until 3pm I had the entire day to feel nauseous. I hardly ate anything. But the key was I started too fast. I told myself that I just needed to go out and run as fast as possible. But, I ran the first half mile in 4:30, which is much too fast for me. I let myself slow down slightly because I can't run three miles in 9-minute-miles. I KNOW that. However, that first five minutes took it all out of me. I couldn't get my breathing back in order. I couldn't push myself. Then my shoe came untied and I let myself walk for 30 seconds. After that, my perfectionism takes over. Once I know that I am not gonna make it, then I figure why even bother. I ended up walking three times. The whole thing is ridiculous. I ran three miles with Brandy just a week ago in 33 minutes. Why do I keep putting myself through this? Why do I pay money to suck it up? The truth? Because it's the only thing that keeps me running. And of course I said that I would never do it again. But instead I just don't want to do it again until I am faster. I do still want to run a 10k with Jen, because we've never run together and she's my biggest running motivation. I am frustrated. But I want to keep up my running and work on getting faster this winter while I am trapped in the gym. Then when spring comes and I can go outside again, I can work on building up my endurance at that faster pace. Frustration all around. But I am thankful for my running partners. I hope that they will continue to run with me even when we have nothing to train for.

Shannon, Karrie and Brandy

Three's Company Too

I worked out almost three hours today. Luckily I had taken the day off of work, and had plenty of time to do that. And I didn't do much else. This morning I woke up at 7am to go running with my friend/coworker Shannon. She has just recently begun to run and is going to be joining me this Sunday for the Governor's Cup Race. She had never actually run outside, so we tested her ability this morning. It was so early that I didn't feel like pushing too much, and she doesn't talk as much as Brandy, and it was rainy, and cold. But we did three miles in 35:20. That's not bad given all that criteria. And we both feel like we can push ourselves on race day to come in just under 34 minutes. I am going to do another long run (4 miles) later this week, and then I will done with my training. During Saturday's intervals I must have hurt my knee. It has been quite painful for me to go up and down stairs for the last two days. But it didn't seem to effect my run.

This evening I attended my regular Spinning class. Brandy joined me, but we weren't able to get bikes next to each other, which is unfortunate. As always, this was an excellent hour of sweating and my knee didn't hurt at all during this class. We stayed for BodyPower but I had to skip out on squats because that hurt my knee a lot. Besides that it was an excellent class. I have used a large weight on the warm up a few times now, but often I forget until I am half way through and it's too late to increase. I need to figure out a way to remember.

After all of that you'd think that my weight would react in some way. But I have not been eating well at all. Yesterday was Jennifer's wedding shower and I ate two pieces of cake plus some mints. Then Jen and I stopped for margaritas and chips and salsa before she had to go back to Omaha. Finally, after four hours of making/stuffing favor boxes with Jennifer's family, we order pizza. It's not like I am eating a ton of food. I am just eating junk. I definitely need to eat more healthier during this week leading up to my race. Well, and you know, the rest of my life!

More Intervals

Today's Running Goal: 24 minutes of Intervals (2/2)
Accomplished: 6 sets of intervals: 6.0mph, 6.0mph, 6.0mph, 5.8 mph, 5.7mph, 5.8mph
This morning I had to get up early (well 9:00) to get a good workout in before I went to attempt to donate blood for the second time this week. But it was a good workout. And I was really proud of myself because it was the kind of morning you want to snuggle into your bed, look at the snow coming down, and drink some coffee and eat pancakes. But I was trudging through the snow to the empty gym to run some fast intervals. Yes, they felt really fast, but the two minutes seemed like enough time to recover. I started off really well with the 10 minute miles. But by the fourth session I had to let myself slow down... but just slightly. In the 24 minutes of running and walking I went 1.9 miles (12:45 minute-miles average). Even though the gym was freezing and I thought that their heat must have broken, I was drench in sweat when I was finished. But my muscles felt pretty good afterward. When I was done, I went upstairs and did an upper body weight lifting session. Then out of nowhere as I was getting ready and leaving to donate blood, my knee started hurting when I went down the stairs. And it has hurt ever since. I have no idea what that is from. Did I hurt it this morning during my interval runs? Is it an injury from those fast miles I ran last night? Is it a repercussion from all the spinning I have been taking? It's the same knee, but not the same location of pain. Hopefully I can get over that... I have a race a week from tomorrow.

My weight has been the same all week. Today I got to eat cookies at the blood bank (I ate them on Thursday too, when I had a high temperature and wasn't allowed to donate, but I was still allowed to eat cookies!) I met my mom for a lunch that wasn't super healthy, and I am pretty sure that I will be eating out for dinner. Tomorrow is Jennifer's Bridal Shower, which means cake. Sometimes I try to make myself skip the cake, but tomorrow I think I deserve it. If I workout in the morning I will reach eight hours this week, and if you can't eat cake and cookies with eight hours of working out, then that's not a life I want to be part of!

Almost Ready

Today's Running Goal: 3 miles in around 34 minutes
Accomplished: 3 miles in 33:32 (11:11 miles)
Excellent! Before the snow falls tonight and winter hits, Brandy met me after work for a quick three mile run. We pushed really hard and accomplished exactly what I wanted and then some. Obviously it was hard, and I was breathing really heavily. But I could probably cut off another minute next week on race day. It's not like I have a side ache (or any ovary pain) I just am panting as hard as I can, and my legs feel like they can't go any faster. Shannon (my running partner on race day) claims she was able to run three miles in 30 minutes this week, although she felt like she was going to pass out. So I think together we should be able to push ourselves. I am really appreciative to Brandy though, because I don't think I would make myself get out there and do this without her.

I had a stressful week at work. I have worked the last seven days in a row, and finally I have a three day weekend. Still, I managed to workout six hours since Monday. I was going to go to Butts n' Guts last night but I decided that I needed a day off, plus with this race training I have been pretty sore the last few weeks. I didn't need even more muscles holding me back. I am finally feeling a little less stressed. I hope to have a nice healthy weekend. If I get to bed now, I can get up early and go to spinning. We'll see. Otherwise, I'll head over to Gold's and run some intervals and lift some weights.