Because I was the baby of the family and born at least ten years after all my cousins, I sometimes feel like I missed out on a lot of family memories. I never knew my Grandpa Simpson and I never got to partake in the fun family memories they made while he was around. But I still able to know my Grandma for 29 years. And in the style of one of my favorite children's books: The Tenth Great Thing about Barney, I am going to list 29 things I learned and admired from my grandma!
1) Life is about having fun.
2) Everything tastes better with Chocolate.
3) It's perfectly fine to own two cabins on two different lakes.
4) At the same time you have a house with a pool.
5) Never leave the house without your makeup on.
6) A real woman never dies her hair.
7) But she bleaches her mustache.
8) Your toe nails should ALWAYS be painted.
9) Napping in the afternoon is mandatory.
10) Always wipe the top of your soda can; you don't know where that has been.
11) Marry the man of your dreams.
12) But make sure you have enough girlfriends to get you through the 34 years after he passes away.
13) Always play the same numbers in Keno.
14) If pants don't fit in the size you think you are, find different pants, don't ever change sizes.
15) It's easier to go to bed if you have a snack first.
16) Two words: Shag carpet!
17) Make sure to have a drink in your hands whenever a photo is taken of you.
18) Being a Rollerskating Princess in your teens is a pretty cool legacy.
19) Always keep bread by the door for the ducks.
20) Everybody loves cash for Christmas.
21) And their birthdays.
22) Call your best friend every morning at 10:30.
23) Don't touch the windows with your hands, they're a bitch to clean.
24) There something to learn by reading People, Us Weekly and In Touch every week.
25) Every penny counts.
26) Don't be afraid to beat your ten-year-old granddaughter in Gin Rummy, she'll never learn the value of winning otherwise.
27) People are impressed with a clean house.
28) When it's windy, wear a scarf over your hair.
29) Always eat Dessert first!
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